a rambling story about nothing but it has a moral
Ava and I were starving at lunch today. S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G. So hungry, in fact, they could make a country song about it.
So we got our big bunch of cooked meat – honestly, we’re getting tired of this diet. We really wish it wasn’t working, but alas it is so we must stick with it – and headed back to the office. Ava asked me to drive approximately 756 miles per hour as we could get back and eat before her stomach ate itself.
Instead, I called our super nice mailbox place to ask if we had anything in today. To be fair, the mailbox place was directly en route. (Ava – to be fair? Fair to whom? Not me, that’s for sure.)
LO! We had a box.
We’ve been waiting for the gorgeous bookmarks we ordered. I veered the car into the left turn lane to make a quick detour.
“Don’t worry,” I told her, “I”ll just run in and grab the box. You can wait in the car.”
But then I looked across the car at Ava sitting next to me, several takeout bags of delicious smelling meat on the floor at her feet. I realized that was probably a bad idea. I had visions of returning to the car and there being no food left and Ava covered in the flotsam and jetsam of Korean ribs.
So, I made her get out of the car into the 107 degree desert heat. That made her snarl, but I wasn’t worried since she was about to eat a boatload of meat within a few minutes. Whatever, I didn’t want to return to my Sister with bones in her hair and the carcass of a cow littered throughout my car.
The moral of the story is: Don’t get fat then you won’t have to eat tons of meat on a stupid protein diet that unfortunately works and consequently you won’t worry about your Sister getting heat stroke instead of eating all your lunch.