July 5

This week’s 5 favorite things are all from Ava’s trip to Costa Rica.  Even though Amylynn wasn’t there she still appreciates all that Ava went through as her family tried to kill her in the jungle in a variety of ways. Not that Ava’s being dramatic or anything. Ava’s not at all dramatic, so don’t be taking that easy explanation for why, when she broke her nail the night before they were leaving, she threatened not to go at all. She’s not dramatic. She’s crazy. Amylynn’s just saying this as a person of completely even temperament. Amylynn’s never been known to fly off the handle and declare crazy things for no rational reason. That’s what makes us exciting. And funny. Do note that we’re happy to tell YOU all about our craziness after the fact. How many other people do you know who’ll tell such ridiculous stories about themselves? Here’s some good stuff from the past week.

All Inclusive Resorts.  The boy that lives at Ava’s house has found his calling in life – that of a permanent resident in an all inclusive resort.  No one born before or after this 15 year old child has ever taken to being waited on hand and foot like this kid.  He was actually seen to leave his ever present electronics alone as he wandered from café to restaurant to 24 hour Food Room requesting EVERYTHING they had.  Clearly, he takes after Ed, and not Ava, because the all inclusiveness included alcohol and Ed wandered from bar to bar to bar requesting EVERY drink ever invented by man.

Feeding the Wild Animals is Forbidden.  No one likes to be forbidden anything, especially Ava, especially anything to do with wild animals.  Nevertheless, there were signs posted everywhere with this statement. Then, strangely a white sign with an empty circle and a slash through it. We’re not sure the Costa Ricans really understand that you have to put the forbidden item inside the circle, otherwise it’s open for interpretation and that’s when things go awry. Anyway, the family went on a river boat cruise – there wasn’t much to see but jungle foliage until the world’s finest tour guide (Hi Rolando!) produced some raw chicken and coaxed a lovely peter pan-esque crocodile to come up out of the water and show us his lovely white teeth.  Next, he

If this was video, you’d hear the screaming

used bananas to get a family of white-faced monkeys to come on the boat and have a snack.  One even ate a banana off of Ed’s head.

Zip Lining.  This is actually an anti-favorite thing for Ava.  She repeatedly said there was “no way in hell” she was zip lining and yet she found herself hiking (there is photographic proof) up a mountain to dangle precariously from a wire string back down.  She’s not sure you need to know she’s never been more sweaty in her life, but there it is. Do with that information what you will. The trouble with the whole experience – aside from the hike and the sheer terror – is that you don’t see anything but the tops of a bunch of trees. Ava likes trees as much as the next gal, but that seems like a bit much to go through to see the top of them when you can do the same from the first class seat on the plane. You can’t even snatch a snoozing sloth from the branch of said tree, even if you were going slow enough to attempt it. Not that she had plans or anything. She still has trouble sleeping at night since the whole experience.  The rest of the idiots in her family thought it was great fun.  It was not.

Horse Back Riding.  This was more up Ava’s alley.  After all, a large furry animal is involved.  She made friends with her trusty steed and offered to buy him a plane ticket home.  He seemed to agree but the man who owned him said no – in very clear English, more than once.  Okay – I get it Mr.

Do you hear the angles singing?

IDon’tWantAvaToHaveAProperSouvenirFromHerTrip stable owner.  No need to keep glaring all hostile and such.

Dessert 24 Hours A Day.  Maybe this really belongs under #1 but Ava always believes that dessert is its own separate category.  Picture this – dessert all day and all night, dessert laid out like jewels on a giant buffet table, miniature dessert available in the café with cappuccino just for the asking, dessert filling an entire room in case you need a snack overnight (Ava slept in that room).  Maybe the boy does take after Ava a little bit after all . . .