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Godzilla AKA Ed vs. Mothra

Ed and I went to bed last night and as soon as we turned the TV on a GIANT freakin’ moth appeared out of nowhere. It was so LARGE that you could hear its wings when they hit the wall. You know you’ve been married for more than 25 years when you have to turn to your spouse and say “Oh My GOD, are you going to get out of bed and kill that moth or not??!!”

Luckily for him, he jumped out of bed and sprung into action. I stayed right where I was, under the covers, hoping mothraMothra would only see Ed as a target and ignore me. While I was cowering, he got a towel from the bathroom and started trying to kill it. (Normally, I would laugh hysterically over my husband running around our bedroom naked trying to kill a bug – but this was no laughing matter considering the size of the enemy.)

I thought this was a good plan until he actually hit it and it disappeared.

That’s right; a three-inch moth just disappeared. We couldn’t find it anywhere. How is that possible?

I told him he couldn’t get back into bed until he found the carcass – preferably dead. He looked everywhere in our room, places it couldn’t even actually be to appease me. I even tried to wake up the dog that slept through the entire “search and kill” mission but all he did was open one eye and re-shut it.

Hours later, I let Ed give up. Then he said the exact wrong thing, like only a man married for 25 years can – “Maybe it crawled under the bed.” A bed, I will have you know, that can’t be moved and has a platform that you can’t see under.

After he got back into bed, he asked me if I was going to sleep. Ed knows me well.

“Nope, how am I supposed to go to sleep with a giant moth under the bed? Don’t you think its waiting until we fall asleep to come back out and kill us both?”

And what did my dear husband say to that? Here’s the direct quote, “SNORE”

How anyone could fall asleep with Mothra in their house is beyond me, let alone under their bed. I made sure parts of Ed were out from under the covers so the moth would get him first and then I covered up every square inch of myself under the blanket.

25 years don’t mean nothin’ when it comes to being attacked by a giant moth in your own house – it’s every man for himself!

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