August 30

Just give us a minute here to wring ourselves dry . . . believe it or not, even though we live in the desert we experienced some pretty high humidity this past week. We don’t like humidity. We’re not used to it and we’re not having it. It makes us surly and unreasonable. What’s that you say? You thought we were always surly and unreasonable? Very funny. Here’s some more funny stuff . . .

1. More oddness with Vermont. Remember last week there was a giant pile of goat poo on fire in a

small town in Vermont. We thought that strange and worthy of investigation but now we’re not sure what the hell is going on over there. Apparently AZ is picking a fight with the state of Vermont. It seems our magazine Arizona Highways made some outrageous claim that our fall leaves are better than Vermont’s fall leaves. That’s patently ludicris. As an AZ native Amylynn must say that there are many, many places in AZ that are not desert – except that you don’t tune into this blog for vacation advice. You want snark. We have that in spades. Vermont countered that their Gorge is better than the Grand Canyon. OK. Everyone needs to just calm down now before someone gets hurt. Does Vermont realize that everyone in the state of AZ has a permit to carry?

2. Llama love. We have the wrong jobs. That became abundantly clear when we read this article. We’d be so happy to drive llamas around even if it was to talk to sick people. We make it a point not to be around sick people. They’re icky and there are fluids involved. But still, these llamas are very cute – especially the one with the hair cut. Where do we submit our resume?

3. Chaser the world’s smartest dog. We’d like a smart dog. None of the Quill Sister’s dogs are smart. They are high functioning morons in that they are smart enough to come out of the rain. Chaser is smart. Really smart. She knows like 1200 words including verb and noun combinations. That’s crazy. She can play hide and seek and hot and cold like a little kid. We don’t need our dogs to do that but it would be nice if they’d stop being so freakin dumb. What stupid dog needs to eat an entire pillow? Or a complete pack of raw spaghetti noodles? Dumb we tell you. Pretty but dumb.

4. Why doesn’t this happen to us? A guy in England rolled over to cuddle with his girl friend only to find that the person nuzzling his neck was in fact a wild fox. The guy freaked out and chased the fox back out the cat door. We think that was the wrong tack. If we woke up with a fuzzy little fox in our bed there would be a completely diffent outcome. For crying out loud, all the thing wanted to do was snuggle. What kind of selfish bastard won’t snuggle with an adorable fox? Cuddle up under the covers. Maybe turn on the tv. Perhaps call in the cat to join you. There are many acceptable responses that don’t involve screaming like an old woman and kicking it out. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

5. Google searches. Honestly we don’t know what Amylynn did before Google. Actually, we do know. She had the library in her Rolodex and she called them all the time. To the point where they knew her voice when she called in. That girl really needs to get on a game show. Anyway, today there was much silliness and in the course of our regular discourse, we looked up the following search “How to do a home vascectomy.” Alarmingly, this was already a known Google search and we didn’t even have to type the whole question into the search box. This is hysterical stuff. The first responder clearly doesn’t have a sense of humor – at all. However, the rest of the group are a laugh riot. Now we bet our husbands are very concerned.