February 14

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers out there. The best thing about this Hallmark holiday is the chocolate. And cupids, cause flying babies are cute and we do like references to cute pudgy butts. That is to say so long as the pudgy butts in question aren’t ours. No one in their right mind would get confused by that anyway. We blame the chocolate. You see how this whole holiday is subversive? Wow, this took a strange turn. We started out with genuine wishes for a nice holiday and somehow the crazy train got ahold of it and now we’re preparing our pitchforks. Our conversations often work like this in real life as well. It’s all rather confusing if you’re new to it.

David Beckham’s callipygian buttocks

Never mind. Here’s some funny stuff for you.

1. Speaking of cute butts. We have a new word of the month. Callipygian. Meaning “having shapely buttocks.” If ever a word needed to be revived it’s that one. We’re going to try to work it into as many conversations in the next couple of

Hugh Jackman callipygian buttocks

weeks as possible. We’d appreciate it if you’d do the same. Maybe it’ll trend or go viral or something. How proud we could all be if we make this happen?

2. That’s Circumcision spelled just like you think. In Sonora, Mexico the authorities have come up with a list of 61 names it is now illegal for Mexican citizens to name their babies. Circumcision is actually one of them. Can you imagine? They actually have to tell people no. Also on the list is Panties, Martian, and Facebook. If you are a young Mexican girl and you’ve been writing down Lady Di Sanchez on all your notebooks, dreaming of the day you could name your child that, you’re shit out of luck. Lady Di is also on the list right along side Rambo. We don’t know what goes on in the world. Honest to Zeus (we don’t know if that’s on the list.)

Tim Olyphant callipygian butt

3. Cleary this woman’s not Mexican. Sheila Crabtree of Licking County, Ohio has just changed her name to Sex because she said Sheila was the ugliest name out there. Seriously. Sex is much, much better. She stated she wanted a name that more correctly reflected her personality. The Sisters have decided that they never need to meet Ms. Sex Crabtree. If we were to change our names to more properly reflect our personalities, we would be Curmudgeon and Complainer Bright. Our office mates suggested

We’re sure he has a great butt

Sarcasm and Bitchy so we’re taking our toys and going home.

4. The Puppy Savior. Everyone on the planet has heard of Gus Kenworthy and his plan to save the puppies of Sochi. If you haven’t go here. We have a theory that it’s all an elaborate plan to get laid. Don’t misunderstand. We adore Gus for doing what he’s doing and we’d have done the same thing. Maybe all the estrogen boiling over across the world is a lovely karmic side effect. What ever. Gus deserves what ever he gets. By the way he won a silver medal for his event. Don’t ask us what it was called. Some insane crap on skis that we’re never giving our children permission to do. We also think that the puppy he’s holding here should be named Bernard.

Not interested in this butt

5. Big Foot might be a hoax. That’s according to the people at the respectable UFO Congress in Phoenix, AZ. If you’re so hokey that the UFO people think you’re hinky, then we don’t know what to tell you. You, sir, are bad news. If you don’t know what we’re talking about, then jump here. Rick Dyer claims to have caught Big Foot using bait of ribs he purchased at Walmart and nailed to a tree.  The Sisters really want to believe in Big Foot. We really really do, but if the brave people at the UFO Congress can’t, then we don’t hold out a lot of hope.