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This is why skinny people are in danger

I was in a very fine mood yesterday. We were off work for the President’s Day holiday, but the children and My Honey had work and school anyway. Don’t feel bad for them as they have Thursday and Friday off this week instead.

I dropped the kids off then went to my favorite restaurant and enjoyed some free wifi and an omelet with the best bread in town and wrote a bunch of pages. Then I ran an errand or two before heading to Starbucks to drink a latte and write a whole bunch more pages.

Then I went antique shopping because I could.

By the time my family got home I was in a jolly mood. So good in fact, when I found my daughter alone in the kitchen, back conveniently to me as I came in the room, I took the opportunity to pants her.

Ava didn’t know what that meant. Here is the definition from the Urban Dictionary for any of the rest of you living in a vacuum. Or perhaps you didn’t have pantsedsiblings or a slightly manic mother.

Anyway, this happened to Sassy in the kitchen. She stood there in her pink underpants with her shorts around her ankles and asked, “Why?”

I shrugged. “Why not?”

“You’re weird.”

“Yes,” I agreed. There is really no dispute. “Don’t feel alone. I do it to your father all the time in here.”

See, everyone thinks this is funny

See, everyone thinks this is funny

I can’t help myself. Anyone who wears sweatpants in the kitchen with their iPod on deserves what they get.

She tried several times to accomplish a pantsing of her own with me. Bwahahahahahaaha. It never worked out for her.

A. I’m not stupid enough to wear elastic waist pants.

B. I’ve gained weight and my pants are too tight.

And you all thought dieting was a good idea.

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