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March 28

5-things12This may be our last Favorite Thing post. Amylynn is being forced to go camping again. Things could not be worse. Well, we guess they could be worse. Let’s just decide that things are bad, very bad. She keeps going on about wind and dirt. The possibility of bugs. And Bigfoot, Bigfoot’s a definite possibility.  The only thing that will make it better is if a mama bear should accidently abandon two cubs in our camp and Amylynn could keep them and raise them as their own. We discuss this possibility further below. The best we can hope for at this point is that she doesn’t kill anyone with a skillet, she gets at least two chapters written, and something blog worthy happens. Cross your crossables. Here’s skywalk cleanersstuff that made us laugh.

1. Jobs we don’t want. This picture shows the guys who get the job of cleaning the skywalk over the Grand Canyon. To be honest, we’re not sure if we’d be willing to go on top of the skywalk, much less go underneath the damn thing. 4,000 feet in the air. To clean.  That’s really high. Absolutely NOTHING beneath you until you fiskar karmago splat on the bottom of the canyon. Cripes! There’s not enough money for this job. We wonder if the mother’s of these kids knows what they’re up to.

The reason it's screaming is cause he's holding it wrong.

The reason it’s screaming is cause he’s holding it wrong.

2. The Job we do want. Katy Perry just gave her five assistants $100,000 Fiskar Karmas. If you are not familiar with this car, let us let us educate you. It’s the latest in green cars. Goes zero to sixty in 5.9 seconds. And it’s beautiful. Also, if you needed further motivation, let us remind you that Katy often wears cupcakes over her boobs. Seriously. We like this girl. She knows how to party.

3. A cautionary tale. Alright, here’s the deal. When the mama bear leaves her cubs with Amylynn for safe keeping she should NOT post it on the internet. Facebook is the end of all illegal activity. We bet there’s entire cadre of law enforcement people whose sole job it is to cruise the internet and find bozos posting that they have illegal bears. Like these two idiots in Kosovo. When we get our bears/lion cubs/wolves we will not be posting pictures on the ava crowderinternet. You’ll know it happened when you read the article in the paper about the idiots who got mauled to death by tigers.

4. Prison ice cream. We’ve decided. When we go to prison for that bogus animal charge we would like to be elected the President of Cell Block C by a confidence vote delivered in ice cream. If you watch Justified you’ll know what we mean. Ava Crowder is totally gonna run that place.frizzle-chickens

5. You know that chicken coop…? We still haven’t gotten the go ahead on the chicken coop from our jailers, ie. husbands. We’re totally doing it though. Look at these chickens. These are the chickens we want. These are some hysterical chickens. They’re called Fizzles. Seriously. We have named these three Frederica, Francine and Fiona Fizzle. They’re sisters, because of course they are.  Frederica’s the difficult one.

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