Send Puffs with lotion–STAT

I have a really bad cold and I blame the kids. You know them, the bringers of plague.

Anyway, my nose is raw and alternately pouring out snot like a faucet or as dry as James Bond’s martini.

My throat is killing me.

My eyes are itchy and they burn, and I’m pretty sure the last time I blew my nose something icky came out of the left eye.

I have a headache.

And I’m crabby.

When I’m dead, you’re all going to be sorry you were mean to me.