Wanted

We’ve been thinking about this joblessness thing. We’re a little freaked out about our limited possibilities so we keep coming up with alternative solutions. Thus that stalking thing from yesterday.

We figure we need to create our own new jobs.

We thought the first thing the Sisters and the World’s Greatest Receptionist should do is put an ad in the paper. Something like this:

Wanted: Donations to keep us out of the job market. Keep us together so we don’t ruin three other lives. Seriously, if we’re exposed to other people things could go sideways real quick. Trust us, no one needs that kind of trouble. Save yourselves.

If that doesn’t work out, how do you feel about any of these ideas?

We thought we’d start our own church. We’d expect tithing. There would be cake and cookies at every service. We’d get cool pope-like hats. You could all be deacons.

OR

Sarcasm Grams. Like singing telegrams only without the singing and a LOT more snark. We’d call ourselves The Surly Wenches and we’d show up and tell people off for you. This could be a thing, right?

OR

The authors of a Dear Abby style column only we’ll say it like it is. There’ll be a lot of “What the hell is wrong with you?” and “Dump his/her ass” or “Are you retarded?”

We’re willing to take suggestions from you, Dear Internet. Just to be clear, though, these are things we’re NOT interested in:

Anything with children.

Anything dealing with stupid people. We understand this narrows the field. Vastly narrows the field.

No crazy people. We’ve done that already.

If we’re in an office we’re going to need the bathroom near by. In our current office, we have to walk practically 75 miles to get to the bathroom. We’re kinda lazy about that and we’re tired of it.

Okay – let us know what you come up with. Despite our above wish list, we’re really open to a lot of options.