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October 24

5-things12We’ve decided we need a vacation. Because we’re not going to have enough unpaid vacation coming up here very soon. Still, a nice jaunt to Fiji or, if we’re thinking domestic, maybe New Orleans or Key West. Maybe Hemmingway’s house will let us stay there since we’re writers. Perhaps if we just show up with our luggage. We understand they have a lot of cats there, too. We love cats. We think this could totally work out. Don’t tell the Hemmingway people anything about this. We think it would be best if we employ the element of surprise. Shhhhhh. shark attackWe’re going to go pack, you giggle about this stuff.

1. Shark! In another story about why we don’t go outside… There have been three shark attack in as many weeks in Maui. We want nothing to do with a shark attack. We barely want anything to do with beaches in the first place – all that sand and sun. ***Shudder*** We defy you to sell us on the addition of a deadly fish as a lure. We don’t supreme court dogsknow about you, but we do enjoy a nice hotel bar and as best as we can tell, there haven’t been any shark sightings in the bar. If one waddles in, we’ll give him a nice drink. A bloody Mary perhaps. You’re welcome.

2. Supreme Court dogs. We’ve told you how much we love John Oliver. He’s adorable. His show is brilliantly funny. For example, last week they created a panel of dogs posing as the US Supreme Court. Then they read the transcripts and the dogs act it out. The one they cast as Ruth Bader Ginsberg is so perfect we can’t even believe it. Go to John Oliver and check it out. Holy cow – this is some funny stuff.Germ choc pancakes

3. Chocolate pancakes. We went to get omelets for lunch. Good healthy omelets. We’re starting a diet. Then we found this – German Chocolate pancakes – Satisfy your sweet tooth with two of our rich, cocoa infused pancakes topped with warm cream cheese frosting, shaved, toasted coconut and candied pecans. Things went badly from there. We ate our omelets because we’re trying to be good. But this thing was white house dogsGLORIOUS. We ate every single bite and then felt sick for the rest of the day. It was totally worth it.

4. Secret Service Dogs. Meet Hurricane and Jordon. They work for the Secret Service protecting the white house. They were the Belgian Malinoise who brought down that guy this week. We learned that no one gets to play with the Secret Service dogs. The minute we found out we rescinded our applications and we’re no longer accepting their calls. We’re not working anywhere they have dogs they won’t let you play with. Just forget it.

5. Underwear? We also learned this week about a religion with it’s own underwear. We don’t like to upset anyone so we won’t name it but we underwearlove a group of people with their own clothing – especially underwear!!! Who does that? We would! And upon further research, we found out they might get their own PLANET. There’s some controversy about that part, but we’re making plans to design our own chonies and get ourselves a planet. We’ll let you know when the big reveal is.

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