Obviously, this isn’t going to work out

I wonder if other people in offices have the bizarre experiences that I do. Honestly, it’s like the universe likes to mess with me.

Late in the afternoon on Friday, I was sitting at my desk and I thought I saw something flutter by my office. I swear at first I thought it was a giant moth. Then I decided that was crazy and it must have been a reflection from the window. A bird must have soared by and it reflected off the grass. Everything was fine. No giant moths. That’s ridiculous.

Then the guy in the next office literally ran past, screaming – yes, screaming, “There’s a bat in the office! There’s a bat in the office!” Sort of like Paul Revere as written by Bran Stoker.

Wait? What? I followed him down the hall only to see the black thing flit into another office up front.

Our receptionist declared that she’d caught the last one and this time it was someone else’s turn. She shoved the guy into the office with a garbage can and a section  of newspaper then slammed the door behind him. I listened with eyes wide to the thumps and knocks from the other side of the door. Then he burst back out yelling, “I don’t get paid enough for this!”

I agreed whole heartedly. The three of us decided none of us did. We called the building manager, but they said they couldn’t send anyone until Monday. We hung a sign on the door, “BAT INSIDE ~ DO NOT OPEN!”

It seems this is the fifth bat that has somehow gotten in. We’re on the second floor and the windows don’t open – I assume it’s because they’re certain we’d use them to leap out and take our chances – so it didn’t come in that way. There are two exterior doors, but they’re never open because you must have a keycard to get in. None of the exterminators hired can figure it out.

I immediately texted Ava.

Me: There’s a f****** bat in the office! I can’t work like this!”

Ava: A bat? A real bat?

Me: YES!

Ava: Do we want a bat pet?

Me: No! Gross

Ava: We’d be the only girls with a bat pet.

Me: That is not what I want on my tombstone.

Seriously, if I’m going to get rabies it’s going to be from a bobcat like a normal person.