February 20

Good news! The Sisters are getting the band back together. Ever since the layoff at BofNF we’ve worked at separate day jobs. (Correction – Ava worked, Amy got a free vacation.) Things did not go well. All we can say is thank the residents of Olympus that we’re not charged per text because the sheer volume of texts has been astounding. We don’t like being apart. It doesn’t go well for anyone. It’s not like we’re childish or anything, but we’re totally childish. We want – nay, need – to be together all the time so that other people aren’t subjected to our craziness. So starting in March, we’re back together in the same office. Let the rejoicing begin. As soon as feasible we’ll be getting the Worlds Greatest Receptionist over here too and the rest of the gang. We’re so excited we can’t even

We are wholly unimpressed with this watch

tell you. You should be excited, too. The stories get better when we’re together. Here’s some more funny stuff for you to ponder.

1. Our jigsaw puzzles weren’t worth squat. When we all worked at the other office of BofNF, we went to the Goodwill all the time to get jigsaw puzzles. While we were there we never saw anything of any real value. Apparently, we’ve been in the wrong Goodwill Stores. A watch collector in Phoenix was wandering around one of the stores and happened upon a rare Swiss watch on sale for $5.99. He sold it to a collector for $35,000.  That crap never happens to us. The watch in question was a 1959 Jaeger-LeCoultre diving watch. The Goodwill would like it pointed out that this

Uhhhh…not what we were expecting

proves there are great deals to be had at their stores. Of course not this good, but we liked our $2 puzzles.

2. This kind of thing always seems to happen in New Jersey. We’re just sayin’, maybe the people of NJ should take a good hard look at themselves. A rabbi in Lakewood has been arrested for running a kidnapping ring wherein a Jewish woman who found herself in want of a divorce from an unwilling husband could have the rabbi and his cohoorts snatch the guy and “persuade” him to grant her a Jewish divorce called a “get”. The tactics involved martial-arts type beatings, handcuffs, and cattle prods. When asked about this torture, the rabbi told the undercover cops, “If [the cattle prod] can get a bull that weighs 5 tons to move, you put it in certain parts of his body and in one minute the guy

These bangs alone are a crime worth jail time for

will know.” JEEZ! So for $50,000 you can have your soon to be ex tortured into submission. The Sisters can think of other people we’d offer up, but we’ve never been this angry at an ex. Nevertheless, we encourage the men of NJ to give their wives whatever they want.

3. On Ice, Ice Baby. Robert Van Winkle, known to children of the ’90’s as Vanilla Ice, has been arrested and accused of burglary and grand theft. He’s been doing “The Vanilla Ice Project” for the DIY Network where he does home rehabs. It seems he was renovating a home next door to an abandoned foreclosure in Florida when the empty house was ransacked. Apparently a bunch of the missing items were found at his work site. So now he sits in jail. Ava is duly upset. She has some bizarre fascination with this guy that Amylynn doesn’t pretend to understand. She wants to make a cake with a file in it to deliver to the jail. Amylynn is pretty sure we can find a better use for a cake. (I like the Vanilla Ice Project. It’s a good house flipping show no matter what Amy says. Don’t listen to her,)

4. Happiness. Look how much happiness can be found for $3.21 at Starbucks. It’s crazy how little one has to look in order to be blissful. A nice Venti latte, breve, no foam and a chocolate cake pop makes the Sisters gloriously happy. It’s kind of sad how easy

We hope we don’t win. We don’t want to ride bicycles.

we are. We’re not saying we won’t take a box from Tiffany, but if your budget is tight, we’re happy with cake pops.

5.The end of the HGTV Dream House contest. Seems a little backwards to be happy about this but we are. Every year the Sisters vow to enter every single day you can in hopes of winning the house. This year, the total prize package is worth over 2 million dollars. Why are we happy the entry period is over? Because the stress of making sure you enter every single day is too much. You can actually enter twice a day which caused even more stress. Somehow, the Sisters convinced themselves if they didn’t enter every day of the contest period they couldn’t win. Which is ridiculous because that would be cheating on the part of contest organizers. But there you have. We entered every day so you’re all invited to Martha’s Vineyard. See you there!