May 22

We’re sitting here on the cusp of a long weekend. It’s a nice place to be sitting. Not quite as nice as sitting by the dock of the bay, but it has some potential. Probably also less mosquitos. We’re hoping there is a bit of Mad Max in there somewhere, too. Don’t you think every weekend would be immeasurably better with more Tom Hardy and less mosquitos? Also with more days. We could really get to like these 3 days weekends. Also, think of all the sleep Amylynn could catch up on. It makes her shiver with excitement. The following things may not make you shiver with excitement, hell, we don’t know what you do when you read this blog. We’re mostly just writing our stream on consciousness and if you can follow it then you’re as crazy as we are. Back to the shivering. If you don’t shiver, you should at least be amused. Let’s give it a try, shall we?

1. We’ve seen 300 at least 300 times. We’re not really public transportation people. That is largely due to the fact that we live in the West and out here EVERYONE has a car. Also, its way too hot to be sitting at bus stops. That’s a scientific fact. We can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt, if there was any possibility that we’d witness what Londoners did this past week, we’d be riding the bus a hell of a lot more. Passengers on the London subway this week witness a flash mob of hunky men dressed as Spartans board the train. We have no idea what they were doing there or what their goal was, but who cares? We’re booking ourselves tickets to London.

2. Speaking of public transportation… Our town now has a street car. We don’t know why. We do not desire it. That had to be said. We think it’s stupid, but we’ve already told you that we’re not public transportation aficionados. We may not be the ideal people to pass judgment. Anyway, we have a streetcar. We speculated that nine people would ride it. Turns out that the one millionth rider boarded the thing

Don’t be fooled. It’s just waiting to pee on everything you own

this week. She was a college kid who lived down there – probably a perfect example of the target audience – and was quite surprised when the mayor and other officials handed her balloons, a t-shirt, a year pass, and a bunch of other stuff. We bet she’d rather have a car.

3. Preposterous Pets. We have regaled you with our deep and abiding desires when it comes to animals we NEED. It turns out we can scratch anteaters off our list. Ava was watching a program that spotlights Preposterous pets. She tuned in thinking it might be a how to show. You know like How To Convince your Spouse you NEED a Quoka. Turns out

We’re naming her Penelope

no. It was a cautionary tale about how an anteater will ruin your life. It was an eye opener for sure. Did you know they sleep in washing machines? That’s just weird. Too weird. We like our clothes clean and anteater poop free.

4. Speaking of poop… Did you know that wombats have cube shaped poop? Us neither! That seems like something we should know. We looked up on the internet why and didn’t get a satisfactory answer. We’re going with magical. Guess what. We’re bumping wombats up on our list of animals we need. It’s really a shame they live in Australia because Amylynn’s not going there. Not after she saw the spider situation over there. Oh hell no. Eventually we figure well just order one on Amazon. Amazon sells EVERYTHING.

5. Baseball games that go on forever. Our work got us all tickets to the Diamondbacks game tonight. They even rented a bus to drive everyone the two hours up there and back. Ava didn’t go. She turned up her nose, but Amylynn took her whole family, but we drove ourselves. It was a great game that never seemed to end. In fact, we finally left at the bottom of the twelfth inning because the kids were falling asleep. We walked all the way to the car and then were almost half way home before our boys finally won in the bottom of the thirteenth.  It was super hero night so there were actors in costume everywhere. The Avengers were there with Batman and The Flash. Even Spiderman hung out with Wonder Woman. It was fun. Really. We had an outstanding time.