October 2

Sometimes we don’t have anything good to say. Don’t get us wrong; we have plenty to say, it’s just that we suspect it isn’t very interesting. Or intelligent. Or funny. We can babble like nobody’s business. Not today however. Today the babble seems to have escaped us. Here’s some funny stuff. We hope. Good grief we don’t even know anymore.

1. Whose cow? Remember Chris the Sheep? He has a compatriot in New Hartford, NY. This time it’s a cow. No one knows who she belongs to, but she’s been roaming around the countryside for months now. She’s even been seen jogging down the road until she bolts off into the woods. A real lone wolf. She’s a rebel who will not be caged or caught. They’ve rigged up a plan to capture her but the Sisters are rooting for the cow. You go cow!

2.  What was Plan B? A guy in New Hampshire didn’t want his car towed. It didn’t matter that he’d parked illegally. When he arrived back on the scene and saw his car hooked up to the tow truck he sorta lost his mind. His best course of action was to then set his car on fire. That seems appropriate. Sorta like that bullshit “If I can’t have you, no one will” crap. Of course the firemen showed up. And then inevitably the cops. Now he’s arrested and charged with arson and his car is burned AND impounded. Brilliant. There’s no word on why having it towed was so untenable. **eyeroll**

 3. What was Plan C? This time it was a woman in Utah that made us say, “Wait, what?” She was angry at her boyfriend. Really angry apparently because she decided to burn down his house. With bacon. Really. She put a whole bunch of bacon on the stove and turned on all the gas burners. Oh, and by the way, her last name is Crispi. We couldn’t make that stuff up. By the time the cops showed up, the bacon was burnt and smoke was pouring out the front door. And Ms. Crispi was drunk. We suspect you’re as shocked by that revelation as we were.

4. Plan D isn’t much better. Let’s turn our attention towards Vermont for a bit, shall we? Here’s another fellow who didn’t really think things through. Kristopher Pregent didn’t like his job at a chocolate factory. First off – no one likes their job. Duh. Still – chocolate factory sounds…awful? So he decided the best course of action was to steal a co-workers cell phone and make a false bomb threat using a different co-worker’s name. Obviously he was fired. Calling in sick sounds a whole lot less…illegal. The whole incident should look outstanding on his resume. He might as well go get a face tattoo. Of a Hershey Kiss. Blahahahahahaha.

5. Where exactly is it? Meet Franchesca. She’s an Angora bunny. She’s also a record holder for the bunny with the longest hair and 14.37 inches. Honestly, we can’t see a bunny in here. We see a pile of hair. How can this thing even hop? Are there legs? Where are its ears? This picture confuses us. Don’t get us wrong. We’re happy to allow this animal to wander into our homes and take up long-term residence. We’re not sure we have the time to keep this hair under control. Perhaps braids are the answer. A  corn rowed bunny. That would be pretty damn cute.