November 27

We almost forgot it was Friday. We could have sworn that it was Sunday. Imagine how thrilled we were when we realized we have two whole more days to go before we have to return back to work. There was giddiness and glee. We hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, if you celebrate that sort of thing. If not, we hope at least you weren’t hungry. The Bandit ate 1/2 of chocolate pie after everyone else went to bed. We’re genuinely concerned that if he continues to eat like he does when he’s only 10, that we won’t be able to afford to feed him as a teenager. Anyway, here’s some funny stuff that sustained us this week. In the spirit of sharing…

1. The Barefoot Bandit. Colton Harris-Moore has been in prison for quite sometime now. We don’t really have an opinion on his crimes. We do however like the idea that 20th Century Fox has, in exchange for the rights to his story, paid more than $1 million dollars towards his court ordered restitution. We do like the idea of Hollywood paying for fines. We are very carefully planning our caper, but if we should get caught and the court doesn’t believe our What?-Who-Us? plea, we’d very much like for Hollywood to pay our fines. Dear Hollywood, The Sisters are very interesting. We promise. We appreciate your consideration. Sincerely.

2. Brussels is funny. You’ve probably heard all of this on the internet already, but we love this story. Brussels was on lockdown for an extended period of time while their elite police force was searching for suspects from the terrorist activity in Paris. They asked for the citizens not to post police activity on social media for obvious reasons. The people of Brussels participated in this brilliantly. Instead they used the hashtag #BrusselsLockdown to post photos of cats. Some of these were simply brilliant. This is one of our favorites on the left. Way to go Belgium. You and Paris hang in there and keep your chins up.

3. Sofia Vergara. We love her. She’s like Selma Hayak only funny. She married that gorgeous guy who played Alcide on True Blood. Or maybe you remember him from Magic Mike. Anyway, they got married and they’ll probably make hideous children. Have you noticed that happens sometimes when you put two incredibly attractive people together, the DNA soup doesn’t always turn out. Anyway, Sofia and Joe got married and their wedding pictures are lovely. What had our jaws hanging open wasn’t the dress – which was lovely – or even the cake. It was the flowers. Look at this picture. What the hell was the flower budget for these festivities? Eight million dollars? At least. Holy cow look at this. We hope they gave allergy pills to the guests as they entered otherwise the vows will be drowned out on the wedding video from all the sneezing.

4. We found our candidate! Every election Vermin Love Supreme runs for president. He’s totally whack-a-doodle and we love him. This year, in addition to promising every American a pony (Ava here – every one of you better vote for this guy even if you don’t want a pony. We’ll take your pony! All of them.) if he’s elected, he’s also saying that he’ll defeat ISIS by going back in time. That seems like as good a plan as anyone else has come up with. Honestly, don’t poo poo him; he doesn’t look any more ridiculous than Donald Trump. At least Mr. Supreme embraces it. We firmly believe that Donald Trump would look considerably better with a nice boot on his head.

5. Piecaken. You’ve all heard of the ode to gluttony – the turducken – a chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey. We’ve never eaten one, but we’re willing to give it a try. Maybe if they wrap it in bacon so we can die immediately afterwards. Then came along piecaken and we had a religious experience. It’s pie baked inside cake. Seriously. There were pictures of pumpkin, apple and pecan pie baked in between layers of cake and then the whole thing is frosted. To be honest, we were kind of full from dinner and the whole idea kind of put us over the edge. Until we saw this one… cherry tart baked into a chocolate cupcake. Wow. That is a thing of beauty. Consider our minds blown.