May 13

This week was bitter-sweet. The week flew by because Amy had plans to be out on Friday to go camping and Ava dreaded being left alone for the entire day with the crazies they work with. So, as the theory of relativity proves, time progressed at breakneck speed. Here’s the stuff that Ava pondered being totally alone on Friday.

1. Not going camping. Few things are more glorious than NOT going camping. Someone challenged us to come up with a short list of things that are worse than camping. Seriously, the Sisters were hard pressed but they gave it the old college try. In no particular order: getting a flu shot, getting a mammogram, giving birth. Okay, those are all medically related, we guess that tells you something about our dislike of camping.

2. Bugs in your food. Ava cannot vouch for this first hand but Amy and their Phd Super Smart Friend L both insist that while camping, bugs get in your food – AND you accidentally eat them. WTF?! Ava wondered how Amy didn’t lose weight on these outdoor weekends. Ava is certain she’d starve first instead having that accident. Phd SSFL posited that the bugs were protein – maybe she’s not so smart after all. Ava called her nuts and vowed for the 985,021 time that she would never camp in this life time or any other.

3. House payments. The Sisters cannot understand the need to go outside to sleep. They have both worked long and hard to buy a home. That roof over their heads is a particular joy to them. It’s such a happy part of their life they want to sleep under it 365 days a year. Unless they’re in a nice hotel and then they’re okay sleeping away from home.

4. Sun burn/sun. Go ahead, stop reading now and look at the photo of Amy right over there to the left. What sadistic family would make that poor pale woman go out in the sun? There is no Ava photo but, being sisters, please imagine her looking exactly the same. Last July, they were both shocked to be sunburned in the middle of NYC even though they stayed on the shady side of the street and were out there for 15 minutes. Camping? No thanks.

5. Big foot riding the Loch Ness Monster in the lake. Amy left for the wilds of southern AZ and Ava only agreed to it and released her ankles because they’ve been watching Finding Bigfoot. If anyone is going to find Bigfoot it’s going to be the Sisters. Here’s why – if Bigfoot is real, there must be baby Big Foots. Right? We know you just pictured a tiny furry Big Foot in your head. How cute was that?! That’s the Big Foot the Sisters will find and raise as their very own. Don’t laugh, we’re going to say he’s just extra hairy and it’s not polite to stare.