Although I did offer to shove the tiles down her throat

It was such a slow day that Ava and I gathered together several others and played Scrabble today.  Isn’t that a sad commentary?

I loathe Scrabble. In fact, loathe may not be a strong enough word to accurately describe my feelings towards Scrabble. Being a writer and borderline obsessive reader who acknowledges a rather elephantine vocabulary and splendid spelling skills, one would think I’d be pretty good at Scrabble – a game that applies both skills. My play is merely passable and, with my competitive nature, that is not sufficient for my tastes.  I also have a very immature tendency to not further my interest in subjects in which I don’t prove to be immediately proficient.  I offer up billiards as a perfect example. My father taught me to play – left handed – which should give me an advantage, and sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.  I’m not consistent and I don’t shoot pool often enough to become consistently good at it, thus I choose to rarely play.  I dislike losing enough to not risk a possible win. Infantile, right?

I blame my mother for my abhorrence of Scrabble.  She always wins. She not only wins, she creams me every single time.  I have never, ever won a game of Scrabble with her. I usually don’t even come close to her score and it’s demoralizing. Every time she convinces me to lose a game to her, I make her play a game of Trivial Pursuit to soothe my feathers.

I don’t know how I got roped into the game today, except that I was just that bored.  It didn’t start out well. Right from the beginning there was an argument over rules.  That’s a problem with playing games like Scrabble or Monopoly with people outside your own immediate family.  You have to sort through what rules are legitimate and which are “house rules” your family has played with so long you assume they are the true rules of the game.

After that prickly negotiation where tiles were thrown and harsh words spoken, I was called back to the game after storming off.  Yes, I stormed off. I’m embarrassed to admit it.

There was another incident later in the game where I threw the lid of the box. I know it was a ridiculous response but, to be fair, Ava was taunting me like we were 5 and 10 years old. Quite frankly, unless Ava is on your team, I don’t recommend playing a game with her.  She accused me of blatant cheating but, truth be told, the reason we wouldn’t allow her to keep score is because her cheating has been well documented.  

My only consolation is that I won.  Without cheating, I’d like to point out. And without physically assaulting Ava – but it was touch and go there for a while.