She should save some of that money from her fines and buy a dictionary

You know how some parents are always saying, “I just don’t know where Jr learned that kind of language”? Well, when it comes to my kids, I totally know where it’s coming from. I really don’t have an internal edit. Milliseconds after the words leave my mouth, my head goes, “ooooh.” 

Too little, too late.

So this weekend when I heard The Bandit very clearly scream the words, “Sassy, you’re a jackass!” I knew exactly where he’d learned it. I’m certain that’s not the worst of it either but, to the boy’s credit, he still thinks the “f” word is absolutely the worst possible word to utter and he’s not said it yet. At least that I know of. He and his sister still refer to that word in the hushed, irreverent tones of the truly faithful.  As an adult, I know there are much worse sentiments than the “f” word, but I never use those words so they won’t have learned them from me. I draw the invisible curse word line at the f-bomb, although I will admit I use it liberally and very creatively. Honestly though, the most creative cursing I’ve ever heard comes straight from the mouth of my Sister, Kelli. Wow! She’s like The Dude, the Great White Wizard of Swearing.

Upon being called a jackass, Sassy immediately ran to me to tattle.

“You know the policy. If you’re going to tattle you have to give me a dollar,” I reminded her. This little tidbit of child rearing advice I got from Ava. You may not agree with it, but I save a lot of money on allowance this way.

“I’m not tattling,” she told me in highly put out tone. “I’m just telling you what he did wrong so he’ll get in trouble.”

Uh-huh. Now it’s going to cost two dollars.