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The bespectacled Bandit

So The Bandit told me that his eyes were foggy. I didn’t know what that meant, but he told me the same thing for about two weeks so I scheduled an eye doctor appointment. He’d had a basic one during his physical before kindergarten, but we couldn’t tell if he did so poorly because he was a squirrely little five year old who didn’t really know his letters very well OR because he couldn’t see a damn thing.

Well, we learned the answer at the opthamologist. I have no idea how that boy hasn’t bumped into everything in his path. The doctor said that little kids compensate. “OK,” I said with raised eyebrows.

It sure explains his difficulty with kindergarten and his attention span of a gnat.

The other Elvis

So I let the boy loose on the wall of frames. My hope was he would embrace the idea of glasses instead of pissing and moaning and whining about it.  He embraced with gusto. He tried on every single frame. Every single one.  I was really pushing for the ones that made him look like Elvis Costello but My Honey put his foot down.

Jeez, you try to give the kid a little character…

See! Everyone wants to look like Elvis.

Out of the 7,500 frames he put on and took off and put on and took off over the course of an hour, he decided on some Spongebob Squarepants ones.

It took the doctor’s office nine days to make them and every single day he asked when they were coming. After about day five, he was certain I already had them and was keeping them from him on purpose. He also has a very wiggly front tooth and quickly the wait for the glasses became a race to see if he’d lose his tooth first or get his glasses first.

Glasses first. He’s cute, eh? I tried to get a picture of him with a “normal” face but apparently that is physically impossible when you’re six.  He really does have eyebrows – when he’s normal, which is, admittedly, rare.

Who wants to start the poll on how long they’ll last?

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