I’m adopting a new mom motto

It’s October ***waggles eyebrows***.

Today opened hockey season ***happy dance***

I’m giddy. I hope my boys do well this year. We’re in constant peril of losing our team to some frigid Canadian town. Where ever they are, who ever is playing, I’m just excited to watch. There is no other game that compares.

For my uncle, I’ll concede that I appreciate the beauty of baseball, and I love nothing more than catching a live game – especially if that means I’m playing hooky to get to the ball park. But the two games are so diametrically opposed to each other that it’s hard to reconcile that I can be fans of both.

Baseball is a lazy, contemplative game with a mellow pace until something really exciting happens and then, Wow! Or, as Harry Caray would say, “Holy cow!”  Hockey barely gives you enough time to breathe from one second to the next.

Puck or ball, rubber or leather – Game on!

***

We stepped off the curb and entered the crosswalk. The crossing guard yelled at me, but I’m pretty sure that’s her new favorite hobby. I took The Bandit’s small hand in mine and I studiously ignored the crone with the octagonal sign.

“Tuck in your shirt, little dude,” I tell him as I herd him and his sister across the parking lot, careful not to step out of the crosswalk boundary lines. It’s one thing to pretend like I’m ignoring her, but it’s another thing to flaunt it. It’s still prudent to obey the rules.

“It’s really easy to tuck in my shirt today,” he informs me with a sly grin.

We’re almost abreast with my nemesis. I risk making eye contact and give a perfunctory nod. “Oh yeah?” I ask. “How come?”

“Cause I’m not wearing underwear.” He tells me this in a loud commercial announcement sort of way. “I’m commando today, baby.”

Of course, now we’re completely even with the crossing guard who very clearly overhears this conversation. I’m 100%

This is the one I want

 certain the Bandit timed it this way on purpose.

“Oh, come on!” I exhale in a loud huff.  “Why do you do this to me?” The one damn time I didn’t do a butt check on the way out of the house. I hoped maybe we were over that hump when I discovered he wore two pair, one on top of the other, the other day.

Semper Vigil. If it’s good enough for the military it’s good enough for me – but I’m gonna want a cape.