Impossible to Think Sexy Thoughts
I had to say one of those things tonight that you never thought you would ever have to say. Up till now, my favorite was, “We don’t put rice in our armpits”, said to Sassy when she was about 3. Tonight, I approached My Honey with a full kleenex and said, “Look what came out of your son’s nose”. The thing was, the item from his nose was not something one would expect, although, considering the source, I don’t know why not. My Honey made fantastic steak sandwiches with mushrooms, peppers and au jus for dinner. The Bandit asked me several times during dinner if mushrooms ever come out your nose. I told him repeatedly, “No” even when he followed up with, “Ever?” Stupidly, I thought it was more of an esoteric question, a general musing from a curious four year old boy. We’ve teased him about potatoes in his ears and watermelons growing in his tummy from eating the seeds, so I thought this was a question along that vein. After his bath he asked if I would look and see if I could see the mushroom. My stomach dropped. I peered in there and, indeed, there was something way in the back. It was either a really large booger or a freaking mushroom. Fortunately, all it took to extract it was a very dedicated blow of his nose.
Dear Readers, this is why I have been struggling to get past Lord Dalton and Lady Olivia’s first kiss. I’ll be way into a longing look, a sensual stroke of the hand, and all of a sudden I’m thinking of mushroom boogers. Dear lord, help me.