October 28

We’re back from the enchanted lands of New Mexico. Well, to be completely truthful, not all of us actually went. We had to leave one of us here to glare scornfully at the bad drivers, annoying waiters and uppity baristas. We do not take our obligations lightly. But we are reunited, the planets are aligned, and many amusing things are happening in the world. Here are five of them.

1. Pope John XXIII. “It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember I am the Pope.”
   

   This is a super-duper thinking cap

   You know, this happens to the Sisters all the time. We will think of a serious problem and think, “We need to tell the smartest people we know” and then we remember that’s us! It also works with funny things. However, it is good to know that at least THAT Pope contemplated deep things in the night. Things like world peace, the Vatican art collection, birth control for third world countries, – you know, insignificant things.

2. George Clooney. There are many, many things to contemplate about Mr. Clooney. If you want, we can pause a minute while you contemplate them. Sigh. Alright, let’s move on or we’ll waste the whole day with contemplation. When asked about Twitter, Mr. Clooney stated he didn’t follow it, adding, “No, because I drink in the evening and I don’t want anything that I write at midnight to end my career – ‘You can kiss my ass,’ all spelled wrong.” Tell us what you think, but that sounded like an invitation to us. We’ll bring the wine and a red editing pen.
3. Sore losers. We discovered Scrabble people are a little crazy. At the very least they take their championships way too seriously. At the
   

   Don't let us catch you smuggling these

   World Scrabble Championships in Warsaw there was an accusation of cheating. **GASP** This is big time people. There were demands for a strip-search in the bathroom when the British competitor Ed Martin was accused of concealing a letter tile. Now that would seem completely feasible if Amylynn or Ava were playing. Neither of them is really to be trusted. Kelli, however, is a fine Scrabble player and would never resort to such underhanded tactics. Amylynn and Ava need all the help they can get.

4. Facial Hair. Our town boasts the top winner of the National Beard and Moustache Championships held this year in Lancaster, PA. If you are unaware, this is almost as big a deal as the World Scrabble Championships but, mercifully, there were no accusations of cheating or demands for strip-searches at this particular competition. We can barely express how thankful we are of that. Clearly the bearded and mustachioed among us are much more
   

   This is what we're talking about!

   civilized. Our winner, Mr. Patrick Gorman wears his moustache in the “Hungarian” style (!!) which is not to be confused with the “Freestyle” type which include waxed loops and such vulgarities.

5. Jack-o-lanterns. We love carved pumpkins. We try to make amazing jack-o-lanterns but there are some people out there who are like the Michelangelo of gourds. One of our favorite things about this season is the outrageous, unbelievable pumpkins. Behold.