Get your Guide Dog here
I received a notice in the mail, over the weekend, about my Health Flexible Spending Account. For those of you who don’t know, a Health Flexible Spending Account or FSA is an account that is funded pre-tax from your paycheck. Because of the pre-tax status, all funds in the account must be used by December 31st each year or you lose the money you put into it. We accidentally overfunded the account because we thought the braces being worn by the boy who lives at our house were going to cost more then they did. When does that ever happen? I’ll tell you when – NEVER. That kid has never cost less then we initially anticipated, ever. But I veer off topic.
Anyway, needing lyposuction, I pulled the list of eligible health expenses and it turns out that it cannot be used for any type of cosmetic anything. Not even if you claim that lyposuction will dramatically improve your mental state. I have no idea how that’s fair.
So I moved on. You can use it for Lamaze classes (related to childbirth). I swear to god it says that – Amylynn and I laughed ourselves silly. Is Lamaze really good for anything other then childbirth? I guess it is. Go figure.
You can use it for an ambulance. Perfect! I called the ambulance company and asked them to provide one to drive me around until the end of the year. The ambulance lady seemed confused. She asked me if I knew what an ambulance was. Duh – it’s a vehicle. She said it was a vehicle for emergencies. I informed her this was an emergency – I am about to lose $600.00+ and I’m married to Ed. She called me crazy and hung up on me.
Before anyone asks – you cannot use it for medical marijuana.
The rest of the list wasn’t much better, but then the sun came out and I heard angels sing – you can use the account for a GUIDE DOG!!!! A dog! OMG! I’m getting a guide dog! If anyone needs guidance it’s me. I’m going to get a really cute guide dog, shiny coat, floppy ears, fun personality. I want one that guides me through life, like a friend. I went on line to find out how to get a guide dog. Surprisingly, it’s not so easy. First, you need to be blind or have some very serious medical condition for which you have visited a doctor. That right there is going to be an insurmountable issue – I don’t go to the doctor.
I called the girl who lives at my house and asked her to go to the doctor with her serious medical conditions so we could get a guide dog. She said she didn’t have any serious medical conditions. I offered to Google some and call her back. She called me crazy and hung up on me.
Talking to the girl made me think about braces, the medical cost that got us into this predicament in the first place, and it dawned on me – the girl will need braces this coming year. Luckily, the orthodonist could see her today and we could make a down payment on her straight teeth.
Now we won’t lose $600.00+ but we also aren’t getting a guide dog. I’m going to need to work that out for next year in case this happens again.
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