There won’t be any mention of auld lang syne in this blog. The Sisters rarely use Latin. Not that we wouldn’t if our public education taught us Latin to begin with. Although one of us learned Braille (pathological fear of blindness) and one went to Catholic school (there is a shot at a little Latin retention there) but the third can’t even remember her proper verb conjugations from the 37 semesters she took of Spanish. That being said, these five things were among the things that kept us alive this week.
1. Hooliganism. It has been a long standing tradition in the seven whole months we’ve been doing this weekly feature to share with you new and
scintillating words to add to your vocabulary. It’s just another service to humanity the Quill Sisters offer. This week the delicious little contribution to lexicon building is: hooliganism. Just this week we posted the article where this word was discovered. To be perfectly honest, we believed this word may have been made up by the newspaper reporter that wrote the original article, but we found a bunch of examples when we Googled it. Either way, we don’t care. Hooliganism. Say it and try not to smile. You can’t! Right up there with snackerel, snackage, and kerfuffle, hooliganism can only add amusement to your conversation.
2. Siri. If you don’t have an iPhone 4S, we’re very sorry. Ava refuses to discuss it. Hint: she’s just jealous. We’ve long wanted iPhones because our Samsung phones were such garbage. We wanted speedy phones. Phones that didn’t freeze. Phones that we weren’t compelled to chuck out the car window at 57 miles per hour. We had no idea when we got our iPhones that we would fall instantly and compellingly in love with Suri. For those of you living in a vacuum, Suri is the android assistant living inside the phone that does all kinds of nifty things. The most fun to be had with Suri is asking weird questions. When we asked her the meaning of life, Suri answered, “42”. When asked if we should wear shorts or a skirt tomorrow, she said, “Amy, I’m not sure what to say.” The answer to her favorite color, “My favorite color is…well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.” I suggested she talk dirty to me and she replied, exasperated, “Amy, I’m not that kind of personal assistant.” Oooohhh, the time that can be wasted…..
3. Not having brain tumors. Don’t freak out. There was never any real risk here. Today, Ava said that she could smell coconut and she thought that might be a symptom of a brain tumor. She heard somewhere that if you smell weird things you should have that checked out. In that particular scenario it was almonds, but surely coconut must mean something equally as ominous. Amylynn suggested that it wasn’t fair if she got a brain tumor by herself. Just when Amylynn asked Suri, “How do I know if I have a brain tumor” Ava realized that it was her tropical Chapstick. So lets recap.
Ava does NOT have a brain tumor, she’s just crazy. Crazy is funny. Smooth, kissble lips always go nicely with a straight jacket.
4. Jesse Ventura. There is nothing funnier than a retired professional wrestler turned governor turned conspiracy theorist. TruTV has started running a show with Mr. Ventura where he does hard-hitting investigative… Forget it. We can’t even finish that sentence without laughing. The Sisters don’t believe in conspiracy theories. Why? Because it has been our experience that you can’t even get four people to keep a secret much less whole divisions of government, but it’s funny watching him try to pull this off. We’ll give you a hint, Mr. Ventura. Yes, they will shoot you if you try to get into Area 51. It’s not a secret. There are signs right there that inform you of that exact outcome. He suggested with outrageous indignation,
“What are they going to do? Kill a former governor?” Yes. Yes, they are, dumb ass. But it’s an amusing way to waste an hour.