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March 9

Time marches onward. Politics gets crazier. Hockey teams blow their lead and make frustrated fans want to cry. Book festivals come and go. Despondent authors become even more so and consider it as a new career choice. And so it goes. Thank Zeus for these five things.

  1. Penguin #337.First let’s give the guy a more dignified name. #337 is unacceptable. We say either Bernard or Juliet. The authorities at the Tokoyo Aquarium are unsure of the sex of the penguin – but then they

    Fly, little Bernard/Juliet. Fly!

    are ignorant about a lot of things when it comes to #337. Apparently, the tubby little waddler scaled a thirteen foot wall, squeezed between some fence and made a bid for freedom. All of this with no thumbs! The aquarium folk are a little panicky and they’ve basically put out a citywide APB. I suspect its face to show up on milk cartons. The officials suspect #337 escaped due to its “curiosity and yearning for adventure.” You go little #337! The theme song today will be Lust for Life by Iggy Pop. Let’s hope no polar bears escape while he’s still out. If they meet up it’s a sure sign of the apocalypse. Never fear, we’re jumping on a plane right now to help with the search.

  2. Piffle. The sisters love funny words. Remember kerfuffle and snackeral? Piffle has been around since 1878 and means “to talk or act in a trivial, inept, or ineffective way.” If there was ever a word to describe the sisters . . .  This is not a new word for us, but it’s always fun when you meet up with an old friend in an unexpected way. Like going to your class reunion and finding someone you forgot all about and rediscovering that they are charming and funny – not that the Sisters are anticipating this actually happening this summer during one of their own reunions. Anyway, piffle wandered back into our lives in a WSJ political commentary about Rick Santorum. Kathleen Parker referred to his recent comments about higher education as “pure pandering piffle.” Bravo Ms. Parker. Bravo.
  3. OREOS. Oreo turned 100 this week. Have you ever eaten a 100 year old Oreo? Us neither but we suspect it’s still yummy. Whatever they make that white stuff out of isn’t natural but we don’t really care. If one has to buy cookies then Oreos is the way to go. Amylynn doesn’t agree with the concept of either dunking them in milk (or dunking ANYTHING in milk. **shudder** There are all kinds of issues with texture there) or pulling the wafers apart to eat the middle first. She contends that the best way is to shove the whole thing in your hungry maw at once so your whole mouth is overwhelmed with flavor. Then, and only then, wash it down with freezing cold milk. Same goes for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups but that’s a different birthday. Happy Birthday, Oreo. Snacks for everyone!
  4. Lamborghini Aventador Jota. Take a look at this car would you? Did it make you all slobbery, too, or is that left over from #3? This little bit of gorgeousness sold for 2.75 million dollars to an unknown gazillionaire. It is the only one made and may, quite possibly, never be duplicated. It tops out at around 180 mph. That will get you to the store to buy Oreos super fast. As a friend said when she saw it, “You can’t go wrong with a red dress and black stilettos.” As far as we’re concerned, that’s a pretty damn apt description of the lovely Ms. Aventador.

    dripping with honey - it's a Homor Simpson moment.

  5. Sopapillas. If you have to spend quality time in New Mexico like Amylynn and Ava have to do from time to time you quickly discover that the restaurants bring you sopapillas WITH EVERY MEAL. WITHOUT YOU EVEN ASKING. We’re not sure you’re grasping the magnitude of what we’re telling you here. The waiter will bring you dessert without you even asking! It just appears there like magic with the salsa. It may truly be the most miraculous thing since we don’t know what. Those New Mexicans have really got something going on there and we think, if Newt really wants the nomination, he should add that concept to his platform. Quickly before some crazy-ass pundit comes out against dessert, calls it a slut, and we all have to take sides on something so basic as happiness. It’s a choice, people. Embrace it.

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