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April 27

Well, well, well. Here we are. Imagine us bobbing our heads. The Sisters talk, a lot. Anytime none of us has anything to say, it’s sort of monumental. We all might be brain dead after the week we’ve had. We did notice that our five things are heavy on the animals and light on the desserts. That calls for a run to the bakery. Check out these five things, we’ll be right back.

  1. Starbucks at Disneyland. The Mouse and the purveyor of glorious caffeine beans have inked a deal. If there was one thing Disneyland needed it was non-fat frappuccinos and venti lattes with a double shot. Can you imagine Splash Mountain with all those singing animals and manic music! Or Fantasy Land where all the rides are lit with black light? Who needs hallucinogenics? Yea! Starbucks! Everyone has the first place they always head the minute they get in the front gate.  For Amylynn, it’s always Pirates of the Caribbean and it always has been. For Ava it’s the Matterhorn. Kelli has not been properly indoctrinated with Disney but now that there’s a Starbucks we’ll bet we can lure her in. M.I.C.K.E.Y.M.O.U.S.E.
  2. Normal hairdressers. After suffering through an undeniably crazy hair person, we were delighted to find a normal one. One who hasn’t had every single disease known to man, doesn’t have wonky self body images, and doesn’t look like she was brutally attacked by a box of Crayolas.  She did good hair, but a gal really has to draw the line. Our new girl? LOVELY! The Sisters are always wondering why we’re surrounded by so many crazies so every normal person thrills us beyond belief. And she does great hair. Bliss.



  3. Jojo. The Wonder Kitty. The cutest damn thing in orange stripes. We’ve fallen madly in love. So in love in fact, that Amylynn brings him to the Bank of No Forks every day. Honestly, when you’ve been tortured by your employer beyond all reason, nothing makes it all better faster than kissing the fuzzy, polka dotted belly of a warm kitty. He’s the perfect office pet we’ve been looking for and all the Aunties in the office adore him. You should get yourself one. Not ours, of course. Find another fuzzy little friend.
  4. Woolly mammoths.They’re cloning them. We want one. A wee woolly mammoth

    Only picture it with a fuzzy elephant instead

    we’d name Walter or, if it’s a girl, Beatrice. Now some might say that it is unwise to clone an animal so much bigger than your average scientist. We don’t have a problem with it. You see, the Sisters are firmly convinced no matter what animal we’re given, we’d ruin it by loving and cuddling and snuggling it into submission. A panther? No problem. Name it Farley and kiss its tummy. All will be well. We’re not even worried about the woolly mammoth shedding, which we’re assuming it will. It’s right there in the name. We’ve preordered the Louis Vuitton Mammoth Carrier to go with the rest of our luggage.

    Run, Byrdie, run!


  5. Puppies running amok. Apparently a Rhodesian Ridgeback named Byrdie got loose from its carrier this week and escaped the plane she was supposed to be on. She gave the airport personnel a merry run for their money, basically shutting down La Guardia Airport by running all over the runways and sitting defiantly in front of the jets. They finally had to get the owner off the plane to corral her dog. That wouldn’t have worked with the dogs at our houses. No one ever listens to us regardless how many legs they have.  

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