May 4th

You have never seen such a pathetic bunch of sneezers in your life as the three of us. Dirty Kleenix mountains grow steadily in our vicinity. The whining has reached epic proportions. Honestly, we’re not sure if our necks are strong enough to hold up our heads anymore. Allergy medicine is not helpful as even the self-proclaimed non-drowsy pills make us drowsy. At the very least, they have muddied our minds to the point that we’re no longer able to give quick, witty rejoinders – just mean, grouchy bitching. There were  some good things this week.

1. Wallaby. This little gal, Tilly, was found outside her mom’s pouch, rejected, at the Whipsnade Zoo in England. So now she lives in a “rucksack”. Let’s say it together shall we, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh.” If they need volunteers, we feel qualified since we’re raising Jojo the Fuzzy Kitty. Wallabies have been on our minds lately, anyway, since we saw that episode of Home Finders in NYC where the guy was tired of his 1.4 million dollar apt and wanted something “bigger”. He found one he just loved, but the co-op wouldn’t accept his application because he had a pet wallaby. Really. In New York City. Don’t you wonder what the downstairs neighbors think of all that jumping around up there?
2. Funny Books. This week we read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jennie Lawson, thebloggess.  This book is so damn funny, we had tears running down our faces. We’ve been long time fans of the Bloggess so we made it a point to buy the book when it came out and read it right away. This took some dedicated effort because, for whatever reason, Winnie the dog decided she wanted that book, too. She ate it. Twice. When we say “ate” we’re not exaggerating. Amylynn came home to find the hardback cover desiccated. Most of the actual manuscript survived outside the binding and thus Amylynn would just tear off whatever part she was finished with and pass it on to the next sister. Unfortunately, Winnie got to it a second time and thirty-five pages at the end of the book were sent to a slobbery grave. We had to buy the book again. This is the only book Winnie has ever touched. Good taste, we say.
3. ½ price frappuccinos. Starbucks is selling them ½ price May 4^th – 13^th from 3 to 5pm. They have a new flavor: Mocha cookie crumble. With chocolate whipped cream. We’ll see you there. What do they say, feed a cold, starve a fever, drown an allergy? Something like that.
4. True statement of the week. This from an article in the Picayune of all places. Not the usual site for smart, witty reporting. “You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts.” Has a truer statement ever been said? This quote should actually be attributed to the late Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, D-NY. That explains how it was in the Picayune in the first place. It wasn’t given birth to there, only disseminated.  That’s our motto anyway.
5. Office pot-lucks. Admit it, these are fun. You never know what you’re gonna get, but it’s always interesting. We happen to be in an office with good cooks – good Mexican cooks – so there’s always yumminess to be found. And of course, desserts. Lots of desserts. The best complaining comes during the nosh in the kitchen. Everyone gathered around nibbling and laughing – best gossip ever.