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May 25

Happy Memorial Day Weekend. We hope you remember someone while you’re at that blockbuster movie/barbeque/watching car races/fishing. It’s going to be super hot here, so do your remembering in the shade. Better yet, just don’t go outside. Spontaneous combustion is not nearly as fun as it sounds. Here are some things we enjoyed over the last week. Some of these stories are frustrating because there are tons of unanswered questions. We’ve tried to fill in the blanks where we could, but honestly, investigative reporting isn’t what it used to be. We think men might have been involved. They never ask all the necessary questions.

  1. Roma Imports. Amylynn’s husband clued us in on this place. It’s just down the street from Bank of No Forks, but it’s hidden, tucked away in a funky neighborhood. Roma is an Italian import grocery store and deli. It’s a tiny building with maybe six or eight picnic tables in the back. Ava and I have been in twice since we became aware of it. Once to get desserts and once more to eat lunch. Our sandwiches were really good. And so was the canolli. Treat yourself to lunch or buy a whole dinner for your family. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

    we don't think you should put these guys on your head

  2. Cheetahs. The National Zoo had a very exciting delivery. Mama cheetah, Ally, delivered her first litter, an adorable, fuzzy little boy. While the veterinarian was listening to Mama’s heartbeat, she heard another faint beat despite the fact that the momma hadn’t had any more contractions in several hours. An emergency c-section ensued and several more cubs were delivered. Only one lived, a cutie-patootie little girl who refused to die. Ava and Amylynn are going to hold off with the kidnapping plans until the babies are a bit stronger and completely out of the woods. Then…ROAD TRIP. The best part is, the National Zoo has pandas too.

    Our guy is on the left - obviously.

  3. Social Security Fraud. So this guy in New York pretended to be his dead mom to continue cashing her social security checks and commit some sort of real estate fraud. The thing is, he didn’t just sign her name and cash the checks. Oh no. He takes his fraud very seriously and wore a blond wig, dress and oversized sunglasses. Sometimes even going to the length of using a walker, having his nails manicured, and obtaining an oxygen mask. He went to the DMV and renewed her driver’s license. In his defense, he describes it as a lifestyle choice. Unfortunately, it’s a choice that’s gonna land him in prison for 13 to 41 years. Maybe it was the beard that gave him away.

    Thank God the zebra wasn't driving - parrots are much safer.

  4. Drunk Driving. Drunk driving is not funny. Drunk driving is a serious problem. It does become amusing when you do it with a baby zebra and a parrot in your van. He took his “babies” to the bar but they wouldn’t let them in. If the Sisters owned a bar, we would absolutely let in any animals that felt like trotting on down. But we have a problem with the reporting on this story. Nowhere were we able to find out why this guy has a zebra. As you know, there are a few animals we want to get our hands on and if he knows a guy…. We’re heading out now to post bail.
  5. 5. White House Picture. The Sisters love this picture. If you don’t know the story, we’ll give you the Reader’s Digest version. Mr. Philadelphia (really) worked in the white house and was leaving the post. Many staff members leaving ask for a family picture with the president, so the whole Philadelphia family trotted on down to the oval office to pose with Barak Obama. Here’s where it gets cute. The man’s children had a question each for Mr. Obama, who graciously agreed to answer. Keep in mind that the parents didn’t know what the questions were in advance. The older kid wasted his question on some crap about discontinuing the F-22 fighter jet. The younger one, Jacob, wanted to know if Barak’s hair felt the same as his. The rest is self explanatory when you look at the picture. These were some brave parents. We’d never let our children free-lance a question for the president. We can guarantee you it would be something about farting.

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