This will be the last Favorite Things of 2012. It’s been an interesting year. Not especially fabulous, not truly awful – just sort of here. 2013 is going to start off with a bang. Amylynn will have two books up on Amazon in the first quarter. Maybe even three. We’ll see how organized we are right off the bat. Still, it’s going to be a banner 2013. Ready. Set. Go. Alright, hold your horses. We’ve got a couple of days left in 2012 to loaf about. Here’s some funny stuff to round out your year.
1. Fabulous quote. There are some women out there who routinely give birth without the assistance of drugs. We say good for you. We’re not of that ilk. If there is reincarnation, we can guarantee you we were not those women who squatted in a field, pushed out a child then went right back to tilling. No possible way. Apparently neither is Megan Fox. Behold the best quote from a movie starlet ever. “I thought I was going to be tough and the nurses would be like, ‘She’s a warrior princess’…[but] as soon as I got out of the car, I was already crying…[and] asking the security guard for an epidural.” Really, pregnancy and child birth are the great equalizer. All you pregnant women out there – just take the drugs. We’re not animals.
2. Beer theft. Two guys got arrested for over one hundred thefts of beer which they ripped off from convenience stores, took back to their house and sold off piecemeal at a discount. Even with the discount price the overhead was next to nil so we imagine they made a nice profit. Of course, you can imagine that the mug shots of these two jackasses looked exactly like you’d expect. Do you suppose they set up a bar in the living room? Do you think they carded people?
3. Crossing guard cat. The state of Washington has a crossing guard cat. Really. There is a kitty named Sable who adopted a family who lived near a middle school. The kitty started showing up at the crosswalk everyday in the morning and afternoon so supervise the kids crossing the street. Everyday. Rain or shine. They even got him a little orange safety vest. We love this. Who doesn’t like a kitty in a vest?
4. Baby Bigfoot. Ava lost like an hour of her life watching a show profiling people searching for Bigfoot. These people are very serious. Very, very serious. Ava wanted to know why we couldn’t have that show. Amylynn reminded her that we don’t like the outdoors and that the woods is most definitely outside. In fact, it doesn’t get anymore outside than the woods and that is where Bigfoot supposedly lives. Ava did point out that if there is a Bigfoot then there must be baby Bigfoots too. If there are baby Bigfoots then we’re definitely going to need us one of those. Can’t you just see the news footage of Ava and Amylynn running out of the woods carrying a wee Bigfoot that we tempted away with fruit and berries and maybe a cupcake and a giant momma Bigfoot chasing along behind? It could happen.
5. Local News. Actually, we hate local news. Admittedly there are moments of absurdity that make it worth it. Besides, we do love to heckle. The local news is even more ridiculous than the Picayune newspaper. Everyone once in a while you should tune in just so that you can spend a half hour in outrage. It’s good for your digestion.