I’m certain Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster could have done it better

We were watching the movie John Carter. The dogs were both asleep on the couch. Sassy and I were tucked under fuzzy throw blankets and we were listening to the freezing cold rain falling outside. The Bandit is in the bathtub singing along with the radio, loudly. It took some finagling to get him into the bath. He acts like the dirt is the glue that’s holding him together and if he washes it off, he’ll loose a limb or something. Oddly, when we finally get him in the tub, it’s an even bigger fight getting him out.

Back to the movie. It’s a bad movie, but that hasn’t deterred me in the past. Since I’m rarely only doing one thing at a time, I watch TV with only a third of my brain anyway. The title character of the movie can leap like crazy. Sassy wanted to know why that was so I tried to explain about gravity and how it’s different on other planets and how that would could make you super strong or super weak depending.

She blinked at me.

So I tried to use the example of Superman and how he was a regular man on his planet but when he came to Earth he got special powers – all because of gravity. I considered myself pretty nifty, turning a bad movie into a science lesson. One point for me. I never expect to win parent of the year but I do like to keep track of my points for when Child Protective Services shows up. Eventually they will when they find out I let them stay up and watch awful movies and make them clean their rooms and feed the dogs.

“Superman couldn’t fly on his planet?”

“Nope,” I told her.

“What planet was he from?” she asked.

“Krypton.”

“And you’re telling me he couldn’t fly or run as fast as a train before he got here?”

“Nuh-uh.”

She put her hand on her hip which isn’t easy when you’re sitting on the couch. “Only when he came to Earth? And gravity did all that?” Her look was of absolute skepticism.

“Yes.”

“Mmmm kay.”

“Look,” I told her, “I don’t make this shit up.”

So much for my points. I think this round can safely be considered a draw.