Or maybe it’s from a lack of cake

I’m not sure if it’s all the meat Ava and I are eating these days on our low-carb diet, or if it’s from continued exposure to Bank of No Forks, or if it’s just our generally piss poor attitudes, but we seem to be scaring people.

I really think it’s the meat. All that chewing and chewing and endless chewing. Our red blood is all feverish from it.

The reason I bring this up is that if you’re our waitperson at a restaurant, I suggest you get Ava what she asks for as quickly as possible. On Friday, she

pic from TheRoadToLessCake.com

was down right vicious. If I hadn’t thought the idiot waiter deserved it, I would have endeavored to calm her down. As it was, sadly that waiter deserved every bit of grief she could give him. The man was an idiot.

This coming week doesn’t bode well, either. Not only will we still be masticating meat (and masticating and masticating and masticating – it’s true, one can get sick of bacon) but I have just had to come to grips with the fact that I’m old.

O. L. D.

I went to get my eyes checked and learned I need reading glasses. Oh the horror. I absolutely refused to get bifocals.

So now – just to recap – I’m dangerously mean, hungry for cake, and old. I’d steer clear if I were you.