March 8

It’s cold and raining again. Just in time for the book festival. Why does the weather have to act like this? Honestly, it’s like it plots against us. You don’t think that’s true do you? The weather isn’t trying to stick it to us personally, right? It’s probably just us being paranoid. If you’re in town, please come down to the book festival. If you’ve ever read anything, you’ll have a good time. Besides, if Amylynn gets anywhere near Larry McMurty she’s going to need all the friends she has to get out of that trouble. You know those book characters you fall in love with, have a twenty year love affair with, who you keep vividly alive in your imagination? That’s how Gus McCrae from Lonesome Dove is for Amylynn. If you hear anything about an incident, we’d appreciate it if you’d not mention anything about the panda thing to the authorities. Alrighty then, off to the funny things.

1. Ninja thieves. This is a true story. The Roman Catholic church in Pittsburgh lost a massive pipe organ. Someone snuck into a closed church and stole it. Now we’re not talking about a little organ like you see in the mall being played by those guys with really bad toupees. No, this was an enormous 200 pipe organ. You’d think that the matter of stealing such a thing would take a considerable amount of time and possibly a small army of movers. How in the name of Steinway did no one notice this happening? It turns out the organist took the instrument from the defunct church for safekeeping and no one is pressing charges. Still, we’d like to know how this event went completely undetected.

2. More thievery. Three people stole an $2.5 million 82-foot yacht in Sausalito, CA. That’s a big yacht. They were caught and had to be rescued when they ran it aground. Originally, we read that it was three women, something we found hard to believe. Usually women don’t do things by the seat of their pants – such as joy riding. Usually there is a plan – like they’re going to fetch something fuzzy. Perhaps they ran it aground because they were too busy trying to locate the glove box for the owner’s manual. There is one sure way to prove that the Sisters weren’t involved. When the boat was located, they officials found it stocked with pizza and beer. There was no mention of cake and you can be assured, if the Sisters had anything to do with this, there would have been plenty of cake on board. We do wonder, though, how long it would take to sail to China.

3. The band’s getting back together. Apparently Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher have all signed on to reprise their roles in the next Star Wars movie. We are so excited about this. The Sisters do love

to be clear, ours looked NOTHING like this

us some Star Wars. Also, we firmly believe Han shot first.

4. Paleo bread. We just found Paleo bread – named after the diet. We’re not doing that diet, but one similar and we are so excited over the prospect of “bread” with 1 carb per slice we can hardly stand ourselves. It’s $6.00 per loaf but that doesn’t matter. ***Update*** We got the bread and can we just say, ICK. It was sawdust. So bad that butter wouldn’t even soak in, but sat on the top mocking us. And it wasn’t $6 – it was $10. Can you freaking believe that? $10 for a mouthful of sawdust that no amount of butter in the world is going to make edible. We’re so sad. This is like the Anti-Favorite Thing.

5. O’Reilly and Stewart. We’ve mentioned our crushes on Jon Stewart before. Frankly, he may be the only crush we have who’s not a certifiable white trash/red neck. We are not fans of O’Reilly but apparently he and Jon are friends outside the television arena. Although, they are such polar opposites we can’t imagine what they talk about over dinner that doesn’t erupt in hair-pulling and food-throwing. We do love that they’re friends. That gives us hope. Jon has most recently suggested that Bill be elected as the next pope since he already thinks himself infallible but it’s doubted Bill would take the demotion.