March 15

Spring is here. Tra la la la. We do love us some spring because we hate being cold and spring in the desert is 90 degrees. Oddly, spring seems to make us a bit cranky, though. Can you blame us? Honestly, how many times a day can we be expected to tolerate being told we can’t have something before we just turn mean. “No, you cannot have the mountain lion cub” or “No, stop touching that bear cub” or “No,stop kissing the baby elephant” or “Put that baby panda down.” It’s almost like our husbands don’t even want us to be happy.

guess which is the fake one

Fortunately, funny stuff happens all the time. Need proof? Here you go.

1. Father phony. As you’ve probably already learned, they elected a pope in record time. Next, we thought we’d have the Cardinals descend on Congress. Let’s have them take a look at the sequester nonsense. That’s not the funny part. What was funny was the guy who showed up at the Vatican wearing a black fedora, a too short black choir robe, and a bright purple winter scarf and pretended to be a delegate. He got really far, milling around with the real priests and having his picture taken before someone checked his ID. We have proof this was not us. First of all, we’d never wear a choir robe that was too short. Second, we’ve never been able to pull off a prank of this magnitude without giggling.

2. Advice column letters. We’ve shared some of these with you before, but this one is a classic. Prepare yourself. This was sent to a career advice column. I just turned 31, and I’m having a difficult time finding a career path. My mom says I should look into nursing, but I can’t see myself being a nurse. Another idea my mom presented is becoming a mechanic. I like cars, but I’d rather drive them than fix them. My true dream is to be an actor. But the entertainment industry is very competitive, and my folks suggest that I have a backup plan. My mom told me that if I don’t engage in something soon, then I have to move you. I could use some advise. – Tyler. Every time we try to address this letter, we become damn near hysterical with laughter. All we can say with any coherent clarity is, “Are you shitting me?”

3. Princess Lilian. Nothing funny here but we’re including it because of the romance!  This adorable lady died and we just learned of her and her love story in her obituary. It’s a lovely, lovely story – possibly better even than King Edward and Wallis Simpson. She met Swedish Prince Bertil in 1943 and they fell in love. But just like Wallis Simpson, she was divorced making a wedding impossible. Nevertheless, they dedicated their lives to each other. Finally, after 33 years together they were allowed to marry and were together until 1997 when Prince Pertil died. Apparently, the Swedes were adoring of their princess and she was a funny, intelligent woman. Sigh.

4. The fellows at our mailbox. The Quill Sisters have a postal box at a UPS store. We adore those guys. They always know who we are when we come in. In fact, they always yell, “Hey! It’s number #188.” It’s so rare to get decent customer service anymore, and the fact that they are always nice is a big deal. Also, they don’t back away and cast looks of horror at us when we come in with the Amy and Ava Show.

5. Amylynn’s foot. She’s been gimping along for weeks now, complaining about her foot. Her doc sent her for X-rays and we thought we’d share. These are life size. She has ridiculously small feet. It might explain why she’s falling down all the time.