March 2

This week has been exhausting. We had the corporate people in the office most of the week so we were sans cat. The weather was gorgeous so all we wanted to do was find a tree and watch the golfers. Well actually, watch would be a bit boring. We’d probably heckle the golfers. That sounds kinda fun, huh?

yeah…no.

Unless you’re the golfer. We can’t be held accountable when spring is in the air. These things amused us
this week.

1. Amylynn’s Podiatrist. Amylynn doesn’t think the whole thing is especially amusing. Ava thinks it’s a laugh riot and has spent a great deal of time researching the worlds ugliest orthopedic shoes. She’ll be in her office and all of a sudden a cackle will fill the air and Amylynn will hear, “Oh my god, you gotta come here!” only to find Ava damn near falling out of her chair over a pair of brown, velcro strapped clompers. Amylynn sees the doctor again on Monday to remove this hideous cast-like structure from her foot and will probably give very stern instructions Amylynn won’t

follow anyway.

2. Corporate. In case you needed more corporate speak, never fear. They were here in our office this week and Amylynn’s been keeping a dictionary of the bullshit that comes out of their mouths. Ready? How about “role migration” or “we’re changing the wheels on
the bus while it’s moving”. There’s always the times they make up words like “calendaring” or “sundowning” or “incentify”. Once they actually tried to throw some French in there with “part of your rigueur”. We’re 100% certain they have no idea what they’re talking about either.

3. Art thieves. The FBI announced they have finally solved one of the biggest art heists. The $500 million dollar thief went unsolved for 23 years. In 1990 two men managed to steal thirteen pieces of art from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston in under 82 minutes. The FBI won’t say who the thieves were or if they’re in jail already for other crimes, but they’re positive they’ve been identified. The kicker is they still don’t have the art back – and we’re talking big names – Rembrandt, Manet, Vermeer. So, if you happen to be at a yard sale and see a Manet for $3.00 you should pick that up.

4. White tigers. The Buenos Aires Zoo just debuted four of them – two boys and two girls. By our estimation that’s at least two too many. Their mother, Cleo, is doing fabulously but we bet she could use a nap. Do you hear a road trip brewing? It’s a mere 5,703.7 miles. We’re gonna load up on Red Vines and bottled water. We’ll be there in a week or so. If Brazil calls, you didn’t hear anything. Just tell them we’re in the bathroom and we’ll call ’em right back.

5. The 70’s Station. Amylynn brings in her XM radio to the office everyday as well as the cat, her laptop, several books and a hernia. The radio is awesome though because then we can listen to theme music all day. Lately we’ve been into the 70’s channel. It’s music that takes you right back to feathered hair and summers in your mother’s blue Dodge Matador. While you’re listening you simply can’t believe you can still remember all the words to all the songs. All of them – the Beegees, the Eagles, The Carpenters, Marvin Gaye . Even dreaded ABBA! Each song comes on and we squeal, “I LOVE this song.” And then we do the Hustle. Even the cat is amused.