Bored Sisters = complicated plans

***Let it be noted the writers of this blog are three middle-aged, women of varying degrees of chubbiness and excellent imaginations.  If anything actually occurs that even vaguely resembles these events, let it be understood there is NO WAY we were capable of carrying it out.  Seriously.  Inconceivable.

It is no secret that the Sisters hate our day jobs – although Kelli has tumbled into a new one I think might stick.  It also should be said that bored Quill Sisters are never any good for anyone. 

Ava and I have been in training for our new repurposed careers.  The training is agony.  Agony I tell you.  We’ve been instant messaging each other and, since my transcriptions of our text conversations have been such a hit, I thought I’d share an IM conversation as well.

A little back ground: You know I love hockey. Also, Ava is game for anything so long as it keeps us from being bored and if Kelli’s not the instigator, she’s certainly along for the ride. She often proves quite useful. Enough said.

Amy [4:56 PM]:

Phoenix is keeping the Coyotes for at least the 2011-2012 season.  My plans to kidnap Shane Doan are still in the early planning stages but now I’ll have time to fine tune them.

Ava [4:56 PM]: Let me know if I can help.

Amy [4:57 PM]:

I’ve already inked you in for several vital parts

Shane Doan - doesn't he look nice here?

I’m going to make Kelli help too.  I’ll make her learn to like hockey players. 

Ava [4:57 PM]:

I’m certain I can perform to your kidnapping standards.

Amy [4:58 PM]:

We’re going to need to steal a car

Ava [4:58 PM]:

Not a problem.

Amy [4:58 PM]:

You still have your jimmy from the old Jersey days?

Can you borrower Ed’s?

Ava [4:58 PM]:

One of my neighbors leaves his keys in his rv.

Amy [4:58 PM]:

That will work for several parts of the kidnapping plan.

Shane is a really big guy – we may have to start going to the gym.

His gym.  Not ours.  We’re not working out ahead of time

Ava [5:00 PM]:

I don’t think we should workout. That will be part of our alibi. “Officer, we couldn’t have kidnapped him. Look at us!”

Amy [5:01 PM]:

Oooh.  I may put you in charge of the defense plan.

Ava [5:02 PM]:

That’s for the best. After a very short amount of time, most law enforcement folks never want to see me again.

Amy [5:02 PM]:

This is totally going to work out for us.

Ava [5:03 PM]:

Yup.  It always has.

Amy [5:03 PM]:

Where shall we take him when we get him?  I’m thinking Vegas.  What happens in Vegas….

Ava [5:04 PM]:

Or out to a prepared cabin in the desert so he can’t get away.

Amy [5:05 PM]:

OK.  We’ll put Kelli in charge of the “pad”.  I’ll be in charge of getting into the locker room.  If anyone gets in our way, we’ll take them too.

It would be too bad if these two got in the way

From here the conversation really goes kind of crazy.  I know “crazy” is

Oh dear, now the RV is getting quite full

 a relative term, especially when referring to one of the Sisters’ conversations, but trust me on this one.  The rest of this conversation could only get us in trouble.