NEW RELEASES
Fatawesome is so on it. It’s like they’re spying at my house
The first one was such a huge hit the last time, BECAUSE IT’S TOTALLY TRUE, I thought I’d share another one. These guys are hysterical.
I’m just going to sign over my paycheck to Target
I took the kids to Target today to get their back-to-school supplies. The lists from their respective classes unrolled like scrolls from the lost library of Alexandria.
16 notebooks - 16? That seems excessive. What in God’s name are these 5th graders going to be writing? War and freaking Peace? Is this paper airplane making class? What the hell?
2o boxes of pencils for the 5th grade alone and another 6 dozen for the 3rd grade - I wondered if perhaps they are going to be erecting log cabins in honor of Lincoln’s birthday this year. Or is a bonfire planned?
13 boxes of facial tissue - ???? Are we expecting massive bloody noses? Epic allergies? Outrageous art projects? What in the name of Kleenix do they need 13 boxes for?
Even with my ranting and raving and flat out refusal to buy 16 notebooks, I still filled up a shopping cart and spent 80 zillion dollars.
I’ve never seen such a fascination with office supplies.
Then there’s school uniforms.
BAH! Kids are very expensive.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
My Honey and I have been in a battle of wills with the publishers of the Picayune. We didn’t pay the last subscription renewal because we were waiting for them to call up and offer a cheaper rate. According to My Honey that’s what he usually does. Like playing poker with the billing department, he just waits - they’ll come up with a better offer. He assured me it goes like this.
The first letter comes: Dear Sir. We see that you haven’t renewed. Please send in your $36.00.
Next comes: Dear Sir, We see that you haven’t renewed. We miss you. Please send in $24.00.
Followed by: Dear Sir. Our lives are meaningless without you. Please send in $12.00.
So we waited. Nothing happened. The first round of play never occurred. I was certain we’d lost. I figured the Picayune didn’t need us anymore. I was forced to go to the local convenience store on Sundays with the rest of the rabble to buy my copy of the Sunday paper. It was so inconvenient to have to get dressed and everything. Besides, I’m certain my neighbors missed the sight of me in my jammies on Sunday morning, tromping out into the yard with my bare feet, hissing at the sun like a vampire.
I suggested we contact the paper and cave in. Pay them whatever they want, I begged. I really missed the comics. Besides, I so enjoyed reading the paper at work with the rest of the girls. I would regale them with Dear Abby in different voices. My Honey wouldn’t let me contact the paper. Wait, he intoned. Be patient, he said while my fingers hesitated over the send button on my phone.
I fidgeted. I squirmed. I gnashed my teeth with anxiety.
Then I collected the mail on Saturday and I danced a jig at the mailbox. The newspaper publisher offered me their metaphorical throat, jugular exposed, and I went in for the kill.
$2.24 a week GUARANTEED until 2017.
I paid for six months in advance. If the Picayune goes out of business the guilt can be placed at my feet. I will accept blame.
Wall Street Journal - are you paying attention?
Ooops.
Oh dear. It seems I fell asleep. Yikes.
I’ll make it up to you.
July 26
As we write this it’s pouring outside. We tried to convince Bank of No Forks to let us close because of the river flowing through our parking lot, but unless there is a hurricane or an epic tornado, we have to stay here until 6pm. Does that seem fair to you? Us neither. Sounds like regional discrimination to us. We’re calling the AFL-CIO, the President, the Dalai Lama, Human Resources and anyone else who’ll take our call. So far we haven’t had a lot of luck and the guys in the black Chevy Caprice are back in the parking lot. Why do our ideas always end with government guys in Foster Grants following us around Target? Here’s some funny stuff.
1. Charlie Sheen did not win. Much to our dismay, Charlie Sheen did not locate the Loch Ness Monster. To say that we are disappointed is a massive understatement. We thought if any one would find Nessie, it would be Charlie. He drinks tiger blood for Zeus’s sake. When the shy monster didn’t show up, he stated it was because it was afraid of him. Just imagine the look we’re giving him now. Still, we do think if the opportunity arises, we’ll make friends with Mr. Sheen. After all, how often do you get calls in the middle of the night to
jump on a private jet and zoom over to Scotland to find a monster? Think of the fodder for this blog.
2. Adam and the cheetah. In more insane Hollywood news, Adam Sandler was attacked by a cheetah while on Vacation in Africa. Perhaps the cheetah has seen Jack and Jill. We’re just sayin’. In all reality though, when we watched the video it was like watching a future moment in the lives of the Quill Sisters. Except that if it was us, we’d be squealing, “Again! Again!” like lunatic five year olds being swung in the air by their favorite uncle. Now we’re all curious. Do cheetah’s have soft belly hair like our Jojo Kitty, or is it course and thick like the tiger we got to pet that time. We’re going to have to get a Kickstart account so we can get enough money to go to on safari.
3. NASA’s SWAT team. While we were in Atlanta minding our own business at the restaurant that served delicious blueberry pancakes we learned that we’ve been totally cheated. According to the Wall Street Journal, every single place in the entire country has their very own SWAT team except the Quill Sisters. At first we were incensed. What the hell does NASA need a SWAT team for? How about the The Fish and Wildlife Service? It turns out the Department of Education uses their SWAT team to terrorize people who haven’t paid their school loans. “Who the hell is paying for this expense?” we wondered aloud. “What do they need one for?” Then it occurred to us that it was probably a box to check on some government form - SWAT team - YES or NO. Honestly, we’d have checked yes, too. All those times you’re too tired to stop at the store for milk after work because the line will be too long - just send in your SWAT team. We’re going to look over our business license application for that box and resubmit if necessary.
4. Georgie Porgie. That’s what we’re calling the new Prince of Cambridge. Ava doesn’t like the name his parents chose, but Amylynn thinks it sounds very king-like. It’s as good as any if they weren’t going to use our selection of Heathcliff. Of course, most of the people we mentioned this too thought we were talking about the cartoon cat and not the brooding, obsessive hero of Wuthering Heights. Some people you just can’t help. We sent a lovely present to the Duke and Duchess in the form of a pony. Every prince should have a pony.
5. RWA - National - We had such a great time at the convention. It’s so very lovely to find a mass of people who don’t think we’re completely insane. Between the gluten stuffed rolls at the table and the people recognizing Amylynn and the opportunity to go fangirl on some of our favorite writers…it’s was a fabulous time. We got to go to Margaret Mitchell’s house and lick the banister that Margaret used every single time she took the stairs. We got to pretend that our cab driver was Rhett - that needed A LOT of imagination, but we’re very powerful in that department. One of these days we’ll tell you about Amylynn doppelganger at the convention and why we’re not allowed back in that Marriott.
I’ve already used this weeks allotment of words
Simon’s Cat - it’s like he knows Joe personally
Lady Aquarius The Pleasant
So the baby is here. Yea for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Yea for Harry, too. Now the pressure is off - if there ever really was any - and he can just go hog wild now. That’s good for us, too, since that’s bound to make Harry even more out of control than ever. We do love ourselves a bad boy - especially when he’s as handsome as Harry.
There’s still no name for the bouncing baby boy. It remains to be one of the biggest internet fascinations these days so we figured we’d get in on it, too.
If you want your own royal name - here’s a generator that will do just that. Mine is a bit hippy dippy as you can see.
Über sparkles
Ava’s gonna have a fit that I’m putting this picture on the internet for all the world to see - or at least the 7 people who routinely read
our blog.
We told you all about the ball gowns that Ava made for herself and Mom made for me. They turned out superb and everyone loved them. We wore them to the Beau Monde ball and to my book signing. We figured how often do we get to wear those things for God’s sake?
Anyway, they were scratchy and hot and absolutely gorgeous.
We would like you to note just how well we take to acting regal.
We specifically asked our friend Tara who took this picture to make us look taller and thinner. She was practically laying on the floor of the hotel to get this angle. I suggested she go down to the next floor and try the angle from there.
One thing that’s disappointing from this picture is that you can’t see how many sparkles are on these dresses.
SPARKLES!
Welcome to the History Lovers Grand Tour & Scavenger Hunt!
As the name implies, we’re a group of readers and authors who love both history and romance, especially when they’re combined in a delightful story. If you feel the same, you’re welcome to join us on our Facebook page and converse with us about historical romance fiction.
Below you’ll find authors of historical romances set in a wide variety of time periods. Perhaps by participating in our Grand Tour you’ll discover some new authors for your future reading pleasure. Hop around to your heart’s content, feel free to comment on the posts, hunt for answers to the authors’ questions, and perhaps you’ll be one of our 25 lucky prize winners (see contest details below)…although you’re already a winner if you find a new story to read, do you not agree?
The theme for this tour is Courting Rituals, and for my post, I’ve chosen to talk about hunting, specifically beagling.
The Beginning of a Long Career
I imagine my handsome young man knows that our lovely young lady loves animals – much like the Quill Sisters do – and has invited her to go beagling. Our heroine is delighted at the prospect of joining her latest crush and a group of friends, cavorting with a pack of beagles and flitting about in the frothy morning air. Sadly, she is disappointed to learn that beagling involves hunting for hares (gasp). Fuzzy bunnies. Sweet little rabbits. It’s not even done with the assistance of horses. Nevertheless, she has a husband to catch and she’ll be with her friends, so she dons several layers of warm outerwear and some sturdy boots, and off she and her group heads into the woods.
Beagling has a long history in Great Britain and was even a favorite pastime of Elizabeth 1. Eventually the trend lead more toward the excitement of fox hunting and the hobby of beagling evolved into primarily a woman’s and old man’s sport. The dogs used in beagling are not the breed we know as a beagle now. Rather they were any pack of small hounds used for hunting.
Sadly, our miss finds the whole event rather less to her liking. It’s cold in the morning and tramping around in the brush is not where she wants to be. Not even the warm tea the servants prepared to warm the ladies serves to pick up her spirits. Until a soft brown blur races by her and hides in the undergrowth. Pushing aside the twigs and leaves, the lady discovers a tiny terrified rabbit. A baby, really, who is too afraid to move even as she extends her hand and gathers the wee, shivering creature to her. His ear twitches and a small leg kicks out as he snuggles up next to her. No one notices the movement inside her pelisse and our lady secrets the animal home.
The gallant young hero escorts the lady home and asks to call on her again. A brief curtsey and a shy smile give the man hope and he clasps her gloved hand in his. Perhaps she would accompany him on a fox hunt next time since she did express a desire for a mounted hunt? The lady considers – she considers the possibility of other frightened animals, these red-hued with perky, pointed ears and sharp, little faces.
Perhaps she should take a basket with her?
“I should like that very much, sir.”
The prize I am offering is an ebook or print copy (in the United States) of my book Miss Goldsleigh’s Secret and this is how you qualify for a chance to win:
Here’s my question for the scavenger hunt: What is the color of the bunny our heroine rescues?
Click on the History Lovers Grand Tour page to fill in the answer, and you may continue on from there. Enjoy!
When Henry Cavendish, Marquess of Dalton, leapt to catch the fainting woman before she hit the cobblestone, he never thought that one chivalrous act would set his well ordered life on end. His ingrained need to protect her has every bit as much to do with her enchanting beauty as it does his desire to wipe the hunted look from her startling blue eyes. He thinks he has everything in hand, but the lady has secrets that puts everything he loves at risk.
Olivia Goldsleigh just wants to live without terror, but a gunshot in the night proves things can always get worse. The beautiful and god-like Lord Dalton swears to protect her, to make the danger go away. She wants the man, the life, the family, the bliss he promises, but her secrets are certain to destroy them all.
AMAZON
History Lovers Grand Tour Authors
Rue Allyn • Amylynn Bright • Collette Cameron • Téa Cooper • Beverley Eikli • Susana Ellis • Aileen Fish • Debra Glass • Amy Hearst • Evangeline Holland • Piper Huguley • Eliza Knight • Kristen Koster • Cora Lee • Georgie Lee • Suzi Love • Denise Lynn • Deborah Macgillivray • Barbara Monajem • Shelly Munro • Ella Quinn • Eva Scott • Shereen Vedam • Elaine Violette
Prizes
- Each author will offer a prize for a contest, the specifics of which is set up entirely by her. The contest will be open to all participants, regardless of geographic location. For logistical purposes, authors may substitute a digital prize (gift card, etc.) of equal value for another prize that might prove difficult to mail to a distant location.
- The Grand Prize for the Scavenger Hunt will be awarded to the participant with the most correct answers to the authors’ scavenger hunt questions. In case of a tie, the winner will be chosen randomly.
- The winners will be posted on the History Lovers Grand Tour page the following week.
Scavenger Hunt
- Click on the above links to each author’s blog. The blog tour entry can be identified by the graphic in the upper right corner of the post. If it is not the top post, look for the graphic in a prominent location on the sidebar, and click on it to find the blog tour entry.
- Read the blog post and the author’s short answer question at the end. Locate the answer to the question, then click on the link to the History Lovers Grand Tour page and type in the answer next to the author’s name. Be sure to fill in the your name and email address!
- You may go back to same page and read more of the author’s post (excerpt, etc.) or you may click on another author’s name on the answer sheet and repeat the process.
- When you are finished, check to make sure the spaces for your name and email address are filled in correctly, and submit your answer sheet to the tour coordinator. If you submit an incomplete answer sheet, you may come back later and make another submission with the remaining answers when you have more time.
- Any questions about the scavenger hunt should be directed to the tour coordinator .