Someone wished me a “Merry New Year!” today. I said “Don’t you mean Happy?” Nope - he said he was feeling “Merry” still from last week and he was going with it. Good for him.

The next person I talked to I wished a “Groovy New Year” to. She said “Don’t you mean Happy?” I told her I was feeling “Groovy” and that’s the way it was going to be. I told her the story of the man I’d meant earlier and she agreed to pay it forward and would wish everyone a “Spectacular New Year”. I heard her say that to the barrista in the Starbucks we were in when I was on my way out so she was true to her word.

I told all of my co-workers the story and near the end of the day we all shouted “Joyous New Year!” to our boss and laughed like fools. He must have thought we were drunk because he sent all home earlier then he was supposed to. That brought us all great JOY. See - it works!

Thanks “Merry” guy from the morning. So, everyone have whatever type of “New Year” you’re feeling. You be you!

What are you planning for New Years Eve?

Usually, the Sisters inform you of movies NOT to see, like this one and this one. Honestly, just don’t waste your time with either unless you desperately want to prove that we’re right. We are. We’re always right.

This time I’m going to tell you about a great show you probably don’t know about. Peaky Blinders. I was alerted to this show by our fabulous hairdresser, Jackie. She always wants to know what we’re watching, and she’s had some great suggestions for us on Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon.

So, now that I’m unemployed (do you know of any jobs?) it seems I’m busier than ever, but I’ve been carving out time to watch this show. If I hurry and write a chapter then I can go watch an episode. It’s sorta working, except that I’m a cheater.

If you enjoyed Boardwalk Empire, or even just the idea of Boardwalk, this is the show for you. It’s a BBC show they’ve put on Netflix. It stars Cillian (pronounced with a hard K instead of a soft C - like Killian) Murphy and Sam Neil. You have to pay attention because it’s about an Irish gang in the early 1900’s in Birmingham, England so the accents are thick, but they sure sound pretty.

It’s broody, and stylish, and pretty to watch even when it’s grungy and filthy and bloody. It’s bloody a lot. And brutal. The most interesting part to me is that it’s about a real gang who were apparently bloody and brutal for real.

Here’s the piece de resistance.

Jackie didn’t even know when she referred this show to me that I am the biggest Tom Hardy fan. He’s a part of Season 2 and he’s amazing. He’ll scare the hell out of you.

If you’re watching, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? What’s you’re opinion on Cillian? He’s very pretty, eh? Jackie the Hairdresser has the hots for him and we can see why. His face is magnificently sculpted, but we’re pretty sold on Tom.

The Shepherds! The Shepherds! Or maybe the dog wearing the wig.

Christmas is over. All of our money has been spent. The wrapping has been decimated and the boxes torn into. For a while there it looked like our houses had been ransacked by very destructive Huns. Also, we’re checking into rehab for our cats. Every year they get some catnip for Christmas and every year we forget they aren’t to be trusted to know when enough is enough. Let’s just say that moderation is not something they’re familiar with. Even the dogs were disturbed by their antics. But all in all, it was a nice holiday. Now we just need to get our houses back in order. You read these funny things while we dig out the coffee table.

1. Nibbley goats. This news story couldn’t be more timely. Since we didn’t get the puppy we were hoping for this year we’re going to renew our desire for a baby goat. There’s a group of goat owners in Reno, Nevada who are promoting their goats to eat your retired Christmas tree. They tested out their theory that the goats would eat the trees by tossing a piece of pine tree to them in the yard. They devoured it-needles and all. Apparently, the needles and such are full of vitamin C and is a natural dewormer so they’re healthy for the little dudes. This is just one more reason why we need one. Attention Misters Bright - let’s think of the year 2015 as the one we get a goat.

2. Gluttons. Every once in a while we present to you a story where men humiliate themselves in a misguided attempt at glory. Usually these stories end up with our “hero” in a hospital or a morgue. Fortunately for the women who inexplicably love this latest fellow, he only ended up in the ER and later spent three days in the hospital. What bit of brilliance did the guy attempt, you ask? He was at an office Christmas party when he engaged in an eggnog chugging contest. He managed a quart of the stuff in 12 seconds. He accomplished this feat with such wild abandon that he inhaled some into his lungs. Hours later he was driven to the hospital shaking and struggling to breath. Personally, we despise eggnog and for that reason-and our X chromosomes-we would not participate in such debauchery.

3. Presents from Pele. Good news. The lava flow from the erupting volcano stopped just short of Pahoa Marketplace with only 700 yards to spare. We suspect Santa intervened. Why else would the shopping center be saved? Why? Can you imagine what it must be like, for whatever reason you don’t have your shopping finished and your only option is the Pahoa Marketplace shopping center but THERE’S LAVA ADVANCING. All we can say, Hawaii, is don’t procrastinate your shopping. That’s a level of stress nobody needs.

4. KFC? Really? So Christmas is barely celebrated in Japan. When we say barely, we mean like 1% of the population is Christian. That doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy some retail celebration. Any excuse, right? The country has been creating their own traditions since the end of World War II when the Christmas Cake came into existence. Wait, what? We like cake. Maybe we’re in. What else do they have going on? Obviously if you have Christmas Cake then you need to have Christmas Dinner, right? Well, the Kentucky Fried Chicken people have pulled off a coup of epic proportions. They’ve managed to convince the population of Japan that they are the most celebrated purveyors of this meal which includes fried chicken, a salad, and the aforementioned Christmas cake. People wait for hours on line for this “delicacy.” We think this is most fitting since Ava’s family always eats Chinese food on Christmas day.

5. Yay, 1st Amendment! We don’t really long to see The Interview. Nope, not even a little bit. If we see it at all, it’ll be because our teenagers insist upon it. They can’t help themselves. Seth Rogan is right in their wheel house. Nevertheless, we’re very glad it’s being released after all this hacking and threats nonsense. We strongly believe in free speech-even if James Franco is involved, we’re writers after all. We just hope he can control himself for the sake of humanity.

From the Quill Sisters and Simon’s Cat

Santa loves himself some puppies and kittens. Amylynn loves puppies. Ava loves kittens. EVERYONE loves puppies and kittens.

Amylynn is still holding out for a puppy for Christmas. Everyone cross your crossables.

It’s probably a good thing for the local merchants that the Sisters have been split up this year for holiday shopping. Ava is especially hostile since she now works at a job that requires timely attendance - not that her hostility extends to Amy who is wandering the earth having a grand time and writing at will. Not much anyway.

While Amy was upsetting the Lush employees with her reasonable gift budget, Ava was over at Costco standing on line

at the exit so an idiot with a green marker coud look her over like a criminal, judge her purchases, and grunt at her that she could leave. Ava left more hostile than when she went in.

A little background here: Ava saves all receipts until she is certain she doesn’t neeed them. She never misplaces them or loses them. The second the cashier hands her the receipt, she folds it in half, and places it ithe receipt section of her

purse. Everytime she does it at Costco, Amy says “It’s like you’re an idiot.” Perhaps true.

However, it turns out Ava is not the only person annoyed by the receipt checking at Ccostco. Here is a quote from a like minded citizen -

“After checking out, I deliberately leave the receipt at the register. Sometimes the assistant to the checker will hurriedly bring it to me. I refuse it. This is an important step in the process of keeping the honor of free people everywhere.”

Now, Ava could never leave her receipt at the register, but she can certainly appreciate the honor of free people everywhere and applauds this reporter for standing up for the rest of us at Costco.

Vive la revolucion! And happy holiday shopping to all!

We had to go to the Costco - us and 75,000 other people. It was all alright, though, because there were samples.

Also, I saw Santa there.

Seriously.

Look.

He was right there with the Juice guy trying samples. I tried to be sly but that’s never been my forte.

He insisted I take a selfie with him. I NEVER willingly take pictures with people. Never.

But this was Santa. You don’t say no to Santa.

He informed me that I was a good girl. And that no I wasn’t getting a puppy.

I had just the smallest amount of shopping to take care of today. Little things to round out bigger things. One thing in particular was for my sister-in-law. I wanted a supplemental present for her. Something to bolster her other present.

Anyway, I thought I’d get her a gift box from Lush because I didn’t think she was familiar with the company. I learned about them through my other sister-in-law who got me an introductory box for my birthday. I fell in love. The place is expensive, but the name really describes the product-lush.

The Lush store in my town is in the luxury mall - the one with the hoity toity stores. I went up there today in my jeans and flannel shirt and walked into the store. There were no other shoppers but four clerks on duty. I had a moment of hesitation. I hate that feeling of entering a store with no other customers and too many staff. You always feel like a gazelle on the Serengeti.

The first lioness rushed me at the door. I explained what I was looking for and she assured me she had just the thing. She dragged me to a ginormous wrapped box.

“This has a fabulous sampling of all of our products,” she said and shoved some colored soap at my face. “Smell.”

I dodged the sample and eyed the jumble of products in the box. “Uh huh,” I said. “What’s the price of this one?” I knew it was way more than I was budgeting.

I turned the price tag around just as she said, without one hint of irony, “One hundred and seventy-nine.”

I guffawed. “OK. Dial that enthusiasm back about one hundred and fifty dollars.”

I mean I love my sister-in-law, but dear lord. The clerk wasn’t deterred. She towed me across the store to another decorative basket. While she babbled on with her pitch, I looked at the price. $75.99. The clerk grabbed my arm and slathered on some admittedly lovely smelling lotion. I let her rub it in to my skin while I shook my head that, no, I wasn’t purchasing that basket either.

We went down the aisles while she dusted me with fairy dust and thrust soap at my nose.

I did end up buying a basket-a very reasonably priced one. I did not get a smile from the clerk when I left. She seemed disappointed that I was so low rent.