First I want to start this story by telling you all that the desert is well into spring already. The high was in the 90s today - all of this while the east is digging out of a blizzard. We know; the worlds not fair.

Onward.

We were sitting at a stop light today. We had a few errands to run, but really it was an excuse to get out of the house because I was slowly turning into a hermit.

Suddenly, there was shrieking from the back seat - from the boy, interestingly enough. I didn’t know what he was shrieking about but his sister quickly joined him. Neither My Honey or I could make out exactly what was going on but there was prodigious flapping of arms and screaming.

“Open the window! Open the window!” was the only intelligible thing to emerge from back there.

Here comes the best part. Prepare yourself because the following could be mistaken for a Laurel and Hardy skit.

I opened the window and expected the hysteria to immediately decrease a notch.

Instead…

“OH MY GOD! IT WAS ON THE OUTSIDE!”

Yes, it’s true. All the preliminary bedlam was unfounded as the insect was on the outside of the window. Now that I’d so quickly rolled the window down, the insect was presently buzzing around on the inside with apparent bloodthirsty

menace.

Ratchet up the screeching! Recommence flapping of arms. There wasn’t much My Honey or I could do about this. First of all we were in traffic in one of the busiest intersections in town. Also, we were all seat belted in as per the law. Besides all of that, neither of us was too excited to crawl back there and be clobbered with a shoe - which was now being waved around with maniacal precision.

WHAP! “I got it!” Sassy informed us like a big game hunter. “Biggest mosquito I’ve ever seen.”

It may or may not have been a mosquito. It was quite large. Frankly, it could have been a dragonfly. Either way, Sassy was thrilled to have “saved her brother’s life” while also being allowed to give him a fully sanctioned welt on his leg with rubber flip-flop.

Remember how I traded in Dave Durango for Leanidas of the 300? That was back in November.

My love affair with Lea progresses nicely. She’s beautiful and she smells good and I love her sound system.

Sometime in January, I got a letter from the Department of Motor Vehicles claiming that they didn’t have any insurance on record for Lea. I followed the instructions and sent them my insurance card.

I assumed all was well.

Yesterday I received a letter in the mail that Lea’s registration was suspended due to lack of insurance and they

implied that I would live to regret my apparent disregard for their policies. Then they demanded I send proof of insurance along with $50 ransom.

Yeah.

I called the number on the letter and sat on hold for 45 minutes. 45 long minutes that didn’t even include hold music. Apparently, the DMV doesn’t feel inclined to tell you that your call is very important to them. I guess we should find some honor in the fact that they won’t lie to you just to try to make you feel better.

I told the woman who finally came on the line to help me that I’d already sent the insurance card. Additionally, I told her that I didn’t appreciate Lea’s registration being suspended. I confided that I enjoyed speeding and this whole registration business was cramping my style. Lastly, I told her I was not giving them $50.

She suggested that I could try the computer system and download the insurance info again. I scoffed. That worked out so well for me last time.

She played her ace by advising that I come down to the office and wait in line. I told her that, actually, my father didn’t have anything to do these days except wait around in lines and complain bitterly to anyone who would listen. I informed her that he was often disgruntled and, should we give him a good reason, he could apply this disgruntledness to just about any cause. I’d be willing to pack him a sandwich and send him down there if she thought that would be a good course of action.

I want you to know that the employees of the DMV are not intimidated by threats - certainly not those of grumpy old men. Apparently, they breed them down there.

I uploaded my insurance info again via their website. I received confirmation that Lea’s registration has been cleared. I did not send $50 because I won’t cave in to terrorist threats.

I sped like a fully registered idiot the whole way home.

March 11 - 12th

We’ll be in Booth 111 right by the Arizona Daily Star booth. You can’t miss us!

There’ll be lots of books and giveaways and the chance to meet us and some other great authors.

You’ll hear us squealing every single time a doggy walks by.

We really hope to see you there.