Archive for March, 2010

I had to work all weekend. What that meant to me was long hours and sweating. What that meant to My Honey was he spent the whole weekend with the kiddies. I got the better deal no matter how much I complained.

I spoke to My Honey yesterday to see what they were up to and they were planting a garden. We do this each spring. We fill up the flower beds and, the last couple of years, that has also meant planting vegetables.

My husband was expressing his frustration over the phone and at one point had to yell out, “DO NOT HIT YOUR SISTER WITH A SHOVEL!”

I’m guessing it went all down hill from there.

When I got home it was dark out but I could see the flowers on the porch and around the windows. They were lovely. I could also see the goose egg on Sassy’s head.

I keep promising them they will be great friends when they grow up. It worked for my brother and me and I even handcuffed him to the mailbox once.

I have hope.

It’s 12:08 on Saturday night or Sunday morning……I don’t consider it morning until there is a hint of sun in the east. Dark = night.

Anyway, I just sent my approvals from the proofreader to my editor. Now it goes to get formatted.

Kelli and I have been throwing around ideas for advertising our releases…….

What that means to you, dear faithful readers, is that I’d love to get contact information from you so you can receive our little goodies.

Shoot me an email with your info: name, snail mail address, and email address and we’ll sign you up.

I swear on a stack of holy books (Martha Stewart Cupcake recipes) that your information will not be used for nefarious purposes - just for our promotion and free give-a-ways, etc.

Come on! It’ll be fun! [email protected]

You just never know what might show up in your mail box!

I like to complain. A lot. I’m generally a glass-is-half-full kind of person about the things that matter, but I do like a good topic to complain about.

One of my favorite all time topics is the weather. This sums it up nicely from the brilliant people at shoebox.com

I complain when it rains. I complain when it doesn’t. I complain when it’s cold and when it’s hot and when it’s 72 degrees there’s bound to be something I don’t like about it: a breeze, no breeze, no clouds.

You get the picture.

Anyway, I dedicate this cartoon to famous cover model, Kurt. Because he thinks my complaining is funny.

I just submitted The Sea Rose, revamped and extended, to the publisher that bought Out of Heaven.

When Roselyn’s ship goes down in a terrible storm she’s sure she’ll never see her fiance again. When she regains consciousness she finds herself on the pirate ship Neptune’s Revenge and in the bed of famous pirate Handsome Jack. By the time they arrive in the pirate capital of Nassau, will her minister fiance still want her? Will Jack even let her go?

I’ll keep you posted on the submission.

ALSO - I just finished the video trailer for Out of Heaven and it totally rocks if I do say so myself. I’ll get it posted on this site, and on my official writer’s website, amylynnbright.com.

This week I had to attend my first parent teacher conference regarding a behaviour issue. It was me and four other mommies and our seven year old daughters. I know what you’re thinking - and no it wasn’t about The Bandit. I am just as surprised as you are, believe me.

Sassy was included in the group because she’s a people pleaser, wanting nothing more than to have everyone like her and be everyone’s friend. Pretty typical behaviour for a seven year old girl, I should think. Her teacher describes her as “meek” but I abhor that word. Sassy simply won’t stand up for herself. It makes me wonder if we actually share DNA.

This particular behaviour issue surrounds one particular girl in Sassy’s class who is down right Machiavellian. We are dealing with stuff that I expected to have to deal with when Sassy was older - say eleven or twelve. We’ve had countless conversations over the last several month on how real friends act and treat each other. I hold Kelli and Ava up as examples of what a good friendship looks like. But it’s really hard to get that idea across to a seven year old who’s just afraid…..of the rotten bully who mistreats them all.

Anyway, hopefully the issue has been dealt with and I won’t have to go back there with my Mama Bear suit on and kick some seven year old ass. However, if things go badly and I have to meet another mom in the parking lot after school, don’t let it be said that I didn’t go the polite, hippy, touchy-feely way first.

You know how I know that Ava and Kelli are my true, good friends? Because I have no doubt whatsoever that the very first weekend I am allowed visitors at my new home on the cell block, there will be a file in a cupcake and a waiting getaway car.

There has never been any attempt to disguise the Sister’s love for dessert. Or more specifically, cupcakes - red velvet cupcakes if we have our choice.

Perhaps CNN reads our blog. Or maybe they just started paying attention but note this story:

(CNN) — Can we please stop calling the nation’s love affair with cupcakes a trend?

You can follow the link to the rest of the story.

I’m meeting the sisters for lunch today.

I think I’ll stop off and pick up some dessert.

Just a couple of days ago I told you that the boy has started practicing his rodeo skills. This takes place in the living room with a giant stuffed Eeyore standing in for the bull. He’s created a makeshift shoot and he and Eeyore come barrelling out of the “shoot” and buck around the room. Everything in the house is at risk from his antics.

My dear friend suggested for his birthday we get him a real rope and a roping dummy to practice with like the real cowboys do. That idea was appealing in its infancy. I think The Bandit would really enjoy learning to lasso and stuff.

And then I began to contemplate things further.

What good can possibly come from a mischievous Bandit, Roscoe the Idiot Dog, his unsuspecting sister and a rope?

I’m seriously contemplating the idea if for no other reason than the excellent blog posting potential. How bad of a mother does that make me?

You all know how much The Bandit wants to be a cowboy. I’ve told you of his love for horses, and I believe I even told you how much he enjoyed the rodeo when his father took him this year. He decided at that point that he wanted to be a bull rider more than anything else he could even imagine. His father and I hear about this desperate desire all the time.

Well, that and his all consuming wish for a puppy for his birthday.

Not likely.

Anyway, my family watched a rodeo on television the other night. This whipped The Bandit into a cowboy frenzy. He spent the entire evening wearing his cowboy pajamas (he has at least three pair), his black boots and his hat. He put a sock over his left hand mimicking the glove the bull riders wear. He hauled out a giant stuffed Eeyore and wrapped a lasso around its head and “rode” it around the living room.

He waves his hat in a very dashing manner after he goes his eight seconds.

Today, daddy took Sassy and The Bandit to the air show at our Air Force base. They toured the planes and talked to the pilots and had a very good time.

Bandit has reformed his career path. He now plans to be a “bull riding cowboy that flies jets in the air”.

I can’t possibly figure out why a nice safe accountant’s job is so unappealing to him.

We went out to dinner last night. Sassy ordered macaroni & cheese. I almost fell out of my car in surprise. Not. The child is going to die from an over dose of chicken nuggets and mac & cheese.

So her dinner arrives…..and she won’t eat it.

“It doesn’t look good,” she says.

“What do you mean, it doesn’t look good. It looks yummy. It looks exactly like every mac & cheese in the world,” I tell her.

“I didn’t know there’d be cheese on it,” she tells me with absolutely no sense of irony what so ever.

“What? It’s right there in the title, Sassy. Mac & CHEESE.”

“Yeah, well, I thought it would be plain.”

Deep aggravated sigh.

Ava was unbelievably delighted when I told her that a customer spent our entire time together hitting on me. In front of his wife no less.

This sort of thing absolutely makes Ava’s day. I don’t know why she gets such glee from seeing me squirm, but she does. Had she been there today she would have watched avidly, eyes gleaming and then spent the rest of the day torturing me. I’m sure that some of her pleasure was diminished by the fact that she could only tease me via text.

This man decided that I had “Angelina Jolie lips” and he became fixated by this discovery. He even went so far as to make me turn around and show his wife so she could agree with his assessment.

It was a very strange day at work all the way around. One of my coworkers received a very strange call from a woman that had us all shaking our heads in disbelief. Because we’re all in sales, we put our cell phone numbers on our business cards. A woman called to verify that her husband had indeed been in our office seeking information about our product and not “picking up digits”. The crux of the phone conversation centered around whether or not my coworker was having an affair with her husband because he was in possession of her cell phone number.

Very odd indeed.