Imagine if it had been a Nestle Crunch bar

Miss Sassy is recovering nicely at home from her surgery. That sorta means she’s bitchy and difficult at home instead of at the hospital.

I kid!! Honestly, some people have no sense of humor.

One odd side effect is that she’s off chocolate. Sort of . She refuses to swallow a pill.

The hospital solved this problem by crushing up her pills and putting them in chocolate syrup. By the time she came home she was retching over chocolate. Her father and I have been crushing up pills and putting them in cherry

syrup. We’ll see if we can ruin that for her, too. When she complains I always helpfully note that she could always JUST SWALLOW THE DAMN PILL, but she doesn’t find that helpful.

She cried over a chocolate milkshake. I assured her that an aversion to chocolate wouldn’t be a lasting affliction. I mean honestly, have you ever heard of anything so absurd?

Tonight she asked for a Snickers bar. We didn’t happen to have a Snickers bar, but the World’s Greatest Unemployed Receptionist had given her a bag of candy — mostly chocolate — and I located a bag of peanut M&Ms. She found this acceptable and hunkered down in bed with a movie on Netflix.

Moments later there was screaming from her room. Apparently, she lost a molar eating a freaking M&M. “I didn’t even have a loose tooth!” she wailed, though all evidence to the contrary.

I don’t know how I’m going to convince her that chocolate isn’t the cause of this latest trouble. I guess Mom is going to fall on that chocolate grenade yet again.