Well, we’re glad that’s over. This past week at Bank of No Forks has been brutal. Especially after coming back from vacation. You know how when you come back from vacation you can never remember your job? Or your passwords? No worries. BofNF switched Amylynn’s job while she was gone and no one  else knows what they’re doing either. We fit right in. Ava participated in 75,264 conference while Amylynn was gone and still has no f**king clue. You know what makes that so funny? It’s totally true. Knowing what we go through every day, is it any wonder we spend so much time screwing around on the internet? It’s good for you cause we finds lots of funny stuff to tell you about. Let’s start with these five.

1. Good penmanship. In January, President Obama nominated his Chief of Staff to be the new Secretary of Treasury. Ever since Jacob Lew has been practicing his signature. Apparently, it’s so bad as to be unreadable and apparently that isn’t good if you’re going to be signing all the new money. A series of loops that bear no resemblance to “Jacob Lew” simply won’t do. We guess that’s why Ava’s never going to be nominated for the Sec of Treasury because it wouldn’t matter how many months she practiced her handwriting, it would never be legible. We wonder if Mr. Lew is left-handed too?

2. $600,000+. There is no point in you buying a Powerball ticket this week. The Sister’s have that all sewn up. We’re so confident that we’re going to win that we’ve already spent a good deal of that money. See item #3 below. And we contacted a real estate company in the Caribbean to find us a nice little island. Also, the diet is over because we’ll be paying to have ALL that fat sucked out. We’re done with this nonsense.

3. DIAMONDS! We love diamonds. We think it might be genetic. Gina Lollabrigida just sold a 74.53 carat yellow diamond ring that used to be owned by the Shah of Persia. It sold for just shy of $3 Million. Also, a 101.7 carat flawless diamond ring just sold for 26.7 million. Are you not sure how big that is? Go find a baby and have them make a fist. That’s a 101.7 carat diamond. It looks gorgeous around our necks.

4. Harry and Chris. Two of our favorite men were tooling around New Jersey together. Prince Harry and Chris Christie. They played on the boardwalk. They toured disastrous sites. They were funny and charming. Girls all over the North East swooned and craved an ice cream. When we heard they were in the same state we started cruising the internet for pictures. We really wish we’d been invited because this would have been a fun field trip to be on. Chris is hysterical and Harry is adorable.

5. Drinking on the job. We don’t actually get to do this, but for all the attention we get paid down here in BofNF Pergatory, we could build an entire bar in our office and start charging people and no one would know. Starting Monday we’ll be running a special on margaritas. Besides, the day’s go so slowly we need something to keep us occupied. We have fairly decent health care here so we can all do rehab next month.

The Sisters are having a very different week from each other.  Generally, it’s fairly the same, seeing as how we spend 9+ hours a day together.  But not this week.  No. One of the sisters is toiling away in 26 hours of training at Bank of No Forks while the other is at Disneyland.  Disneyland. The one in Disneyland is hereby disinherited from the family fortune.  However, that did not stop us from laughing at the

following –

1. 1. Governor Chris Christie #1 – Bug Killer – this is not a political blog but there are some politicians that the sisters LOVE even though they are politicians (Hi, Hillary!).  Governor Chris Christie of NJ is one of these people.  Here’s one example of why – just this last week he had a bunch of kids in his governor’s office and killed a spider with his bare hand.  Now we’ll admit it’s a large hand but he didn’t even hesitate to save the lives of those kids without any concern for himself.  One of the sisters has Arachnophobia, she’s mentioned it before.  I swear, if she wasn’t already married she’d be on her way to NJ to propose.

2. NJ Kid Attempts Murder with A Stapler – this kid is part of the above story but deserves his own spot.  After the Governor squashes the spider, one of the boys says “Let’s staple it.”  That’s a NJ kid right there.  The PETA people are insane over the whole incident but Amylynn thinks the spider got what it deserved even if it didn’t involve a

stapler.

3. Governor Chris Christie #2 – Dieting – Mr. Christie revealed that he had secret lap band surgery in February.  We just love this guy: he diets like us, he kills spiders, he tells people to get off the streets when a super storm is coming by looking directly into the camera and saying “Yes, I’m talking to you.”, he loves Bruce . . . the list seems endless.  If he ever becomes president, we’re moving to Washington to help him out.  We think he’ll need fan girls.

4.Disneyland – the Sisters can’t remember if they’ve ever had Disney as a favorite thing before but it’s here because one of us is there.  (One of us, not both.  Which is wrong.  Not that Ava is bitter or anything.)  There isn’t anything not to love about Disney.  We love, love, love every square inch of it.  Except “It’s a Small World”.  We are deeply suspicious of anyone who doesn’t like Disney or anyone who likes “It’s a Small World”.  Something is really wrong there . . .  We do

1. debate which is better – CA Disney or FL Disney.  I believe a trip to both is in order to solve this argument.  In fact, we’d better get over to Paris and Japan so we can speak from experience.

5. Monte Cristo Sandwich – this delectable sandwich is made of turkey and cheese.  It is dipped in egg batter and fried to a beautiful golden brown and served with powdered sugar and preserves.  The Disney people make these at the restaurant housed inside the “Pirate’s of the Caribbean” ride – but only for lunch.  TIP: you should make reservations before you get there or you won’t get in.  Holy deliciousness – now we’re starving!