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Are you ready for some Regency!

Against all odds, I have written yet another book. I KNOW! It’s crazy! Ava keeps saying she knew I had it in me, but every time I’m amazed.

This one is called Miss Sinclair’s Secret. It’s #4 in the trilogy. HA – I couldn’t resist a little Douglas Adams there. But seriously, it’s #4 in the Secrets Series.

It will be out mid-April.

Wanna see the cover?

MissSinclairsLARGENow that you’ve seen that intriguing cover, wanna know what it’s about?

Anna Sinclair is an English lady who refuses to settle—not if all her friends have love matches. When she receives notification that her father, General Sinclair, is missing and presumed dead in America shortly after the War of 1812, she knows she has nothing to lose by going to find him. In an untamed country, she’ll need to navigate the Mississippi River, miles of wilderness, earthquakes, Indians, and one absurdly attractive American sea captain.

Nathanial Johnson is an American patriot whose only goal is to return to the country he loves with his recently located brother, a sailor impressed by the British. The money offered to escort a young English woman to the United States is too much to pass up when he’s desperately trying to save his family’s shipping empire. The beautiful lady spins a ridiculous tale about looking for her father, but Nate has powerful reasons to believe she’s a spy for the Crown. He’ll help her on her quest, at least until he can prove her villainous intent.

Will Anna’s secret destroy his country and be his undoing?

 

Ooohdalolly Ooohdalolly

You may have seen this commercial already. It’s on television every ten minutes, but honestly, I’m so in love with this commercial. This is the full version with all the cuties.

Behold.

Also, it’s got the song from Disney’s Robin Hood WHICH I LOVE!

Not much makes us happier

puppy1Today is National Puppy Day.

How fabulous!

Everyone go find a puppy and kiss its little head and massage its ears and rub its belly. You’ll feel better. The puppy will feel better. The world will be a better place because of it. puppy2

 

 

Misery loves company for sure

So I have this vicious scrape on the back of my leg. There’s only so many times I can tell you about stupid things I do before I wonder if you’ll get concerned that I might actually be an idiot.

There’s only so much deprecating humor can do to convince you that I’m not.

You know, sometimes I think I might actually be an idiot. Sometimes the things I do…

My dad spent the week here at our house because my brother was on an epic fishing trip. When Pop stays over he bunk bedsleeps on The Bandit’s bottom bunk and the boy sleeps up top. Usually the top bunk isn’t even made – it’s just all full of stuffed animals and stuff. So I climbed up there to clear a hole for the kid and put on some sheets.

OK, full disclosure.

I didn’t climb up there exactly. I stood on the bottom bunk and then took a step onto the nightstand. That was when things went wrong. There was teetering that happened so fast I didn’t even have time to grab hold before the nightstand flipped out from under me and I went flying.

Additionally, I’d like to mention that I’ve done this move a bunch of times before — the standing on the nightstand part, not the flying part — and nothing gymnastic ever happened.

Still, as I lay there on a floor littered with Legos and Nerf gun bullets contemplating broken bones and whether anyone would notice if I couldn’t get the blood out of the carpet, I told myself I got exactly what I deserved for doing something so stupid.

Later my pride was slightly mollified when My Honey fell off the front porch.

Of one thing I’m completely certain. We don’t jump back up as fast as we used to.

 

March 20

5-things12Tra la la la – it’s the first day of spring! In the desert that means that everything is blooming and everyone’s allergies are running amok. Amylynn sounds like she’s channeling the spirit of a lifelong smoker with all the hacking and wheezing. Also, her front yard looks like a scene shot in a jungle or something. The other day someone lost a cat out there. Before you know it, summer will be here. We’re expecting it by Thursday next week. Every year we watch the northeastern part of the country, mystified that you’re all still dealing with snow in April. By then we’re probably ikeaalready running the air conditioning 24 hours a day. Crazy. Anyway, some of this may distract you from your weather. It’s good stuff.

1. Not dodge ball either. The people from Ikea have issued a statement that they are no longer allowing roving hoards of people to play hide and seek in the Ikea stores. We have a couple of things to say about this. #1 – Holy cow, that sounds like fun! #2 – Social media screws everything up. Apparently the call went out on Facebook and 19,000 people signed up to play in Amsterdam. Seriously. At another store in Utrecht, 13,000 signed up to hawaiiplay. If they’d kept it at a reasonable level then it seems like the IKEA people would have tolerated it. People ruin everything.

2. Are we sure it’s not coconut? The was a blizzard in Hawaii. Mauna Kea’s higher elevations had blizzard conditions this week. A Thirty Meter Telescope is being built up there and all the work had to be halted. The meteorologist said it was, “difficult to estimate just how much snow had fallen.” We’re guessing it’s walmarthard to get an accurate reading on the ruler when everyone is running around and screaming that Armageddon is nigh.

3. That explains the smell in there. You probably heard about the incident in Indiana where a methlab was found operating in a Walmart bathroom. We’d say that we’re surprised, but that isn’t really true. You’ve seen the websites devoted to the Walmart and its customers. It’s indiahorrifying. And let’s be honest, if you wanted to hide something in a public place where no employees would find it, then Walmart’s your best bet. Those bathrooms haven’t seen an employee in years.

4. Also, ask him to spell “squirm”.  A bride in New Delhi (is there an Old Delhi? We’re just curious) called off her wedding while in the actual marriage hall. Apparently this was an arranged marriage and she didn’t really know her groom. She did however have some suspicions. She knew things weren’t going to work out when she asked him to add 15 and 6 together. He said 17. Things went down hill from boy named suethere. We say GOOD FOR YOU. A girl has to have some standards.

5. It’s still way better than Apple. Everybody get out their brackets. Let’s see who won the baby name pool. Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively had a baby GIRL back in December, but they’ve been reluctant to tell us the child’s name. Hmmmm, we wonder why. Let us just say that anyone who guessed Gloria or Debby or Helga was wrong. Way wrong. So very, very wrong. The name they chose wasn’t even in the top 100. They named that baby girl James. No, it’s not a typo. It’s like Hollywood is in a competition or something to see all the reasons they’ll have to pay for therapy for their kids or something.

Nowhere near the weirdest thing we’ve looked for

Weird things happen in my house. I have to say all kinds of things I never thought I’d have to say.

For example, today I have to tell you that we lost a chicken carcass. In the house.

You’d think that wouldn’t happen. It’s not like we have a ginormous house or anything. Nevertheless, we can’t find the chicken. chicken carcass

Said poultry was never alive here. It’s not like we had a pet chicken (I’m never going to get a pet chicken. My Honey never lets me have anything good) who died and now we can’t find the body, or something. That would be really weird.

No. Our issue is a whole lit simpler. My Honey roasted a chicken for dinner. He carved it up and left the carcass on a plate on the counter while we went to eat. Granted, we never should have done that. We have a dog whose nose gets him in nearly constant trouble. Hound dogs are a real pain that way.

We thought the dogs were with us the entire time, but one of them must have slunk off and conducted a raid. I even looked askance at Jojo Kitty because I wouldn’t put it past him to wage a full on battle with a chicken carcass. He gave me a look that implied that I could go screw myself, that he didn’t have a chicken, and didn’t like what I was implying. It was a totally normal cat look. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary there. Actually, he’s probably pissed that the dogs didn’t share.

We’ve looked everywhere for that pile of bones. It was still shaped like a chicken the last time we saw it. It’s not in any of the bedrooms or closets. Neither of the bathrooms. Not in the pantry. I shoved the boy behind the couch, but there was no bird back there either. Also, the couch cushions are poultry free. Not in the laundry or shoved in any of our shoes. I’m telling you we’ve looked everywhere.

My delightful father suggested that we’d find it in a day or so when it starts to smell. You see how he’s not helpful?

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

We may be a little late, but this is totally worth it.

kermit

Breaking down the festival

We had a great time – it’s always fun to see our friends and meet new readers. Nothing ceases to amaze us as much as people recognizing us because they’ve read our stuff. Makes an author giddy, is what it does.

Also, we successfully stalked one of our favorite authors – Gail Carriger of Souless fame. She was hysterical – just as her

That's her in the orange! Isn't she cute?

That’s her in the orange! Isn’t she cute?

books suggest she would be. She said, and we quote, “Aren’t you two the cutest?” We agreed. We are! She autographed our well-read copies of her books for us. Sadly, we have no idea what her personalized notes say. It’s possible her handwriting is worse than Ava’s. We don’t care. We love you, Gail!

All those wonderful things aside, we all know in a situation like this, the people watching is the best part.

For example, there was the strange little man who showed up in front of my booth and stared at my books for maybe three minutes.  That might not seem long, but it is when that person refuses to say anything. His intensity was alarming, but not really inviting of conversation. Suddenly he looked up, dug around in his bag, and handed me a piece of gum. Which I promptly threw away. No words were ever spoken and nothing you said to me could convince me to eat that gum.

Then was the old man who showed up and engaged me and two other authors. He was obnoxious. Really obnoxious. He insisted on taking up five minutes of my time by telling me about a dream he had the night before. In this dream he set all the Mattress Firms stores on fire. I know that we’re always complaining that newspaper articles leave us with more questions than they answer, but I REFUSED to ask him any questions about this dream of his. What I will say is that if anything happens to the Mattress Firm stores, the police should call me and I’ll tell them everything I can remember.

There was a great deal of giggles when Ava was asked out on a date. Seriously! And then another man ENTIRELY told her she was beautiful. Let’s just say, Ava had a very good ego day at the festival.

I had some victories as well. I didn’t get MUCH of a sunburn. There’s a bit on pink on my right arm and hand, but mostly I made it through unscathed. That’s seriously amazing.

On the other hand, the wind was outrageous and my allergies went completely berserk. By Sunday I had no voice left and I’d gone through enough Kleenix to suggest you move your entire retirement account to that company. As I write this now, I’m have said Kleenix shoved up my nose because I’m just tired of blowing it at this point.

Also, on the first day I wore a dress with a circle skirt.

Who wears a dress like that on a blustery day? It takes a special kind of idiot, I assure you, and I am that idiot. Also, and most importantly, I do NOT have the ass to carry off the Marilyn Monroe move. To all those I may have offended, I give you my apologies. Go ahead and make me the butt of your jokes (Ha! see what I did there?) on your own blogs.

Our next writerly event together is in May. We’ll see if we can hold it together until then.

 

 

March 13

5-things12This is a very busy weekend for us. The Tucson Festival of Books is a big deal. A very big deal. Last year they estimated there were 200,000 people at the festival over both days. That’s a lot of people, we don’t care where you’re from. Tonight is our kick-off dinner and we love that dinner. So many fun book-y people to talk to. This is one of those weekends we go home exhausted from. It’s hard work being on for so many hours at a time. You can expect a great follow up blog next week for sure. Also, Amylynn’s seventh book, Miss Sinclair’s Secret, is going to the editor this week. It’s so exciting to be done with it and sending it off. Also, writing the words chihuahua“seventh book” is crazy. Who would have ever thought? Ava would, but Amylynn’s amazed by that.  Even as busy as we’ve been, we found funny stuff.

1. Stowaway. Don’t you remember, way back in the day, when you’d sit around the living room with your family and watch The Love Boat? There were frequently stowaways on the ship and the Sisters had many fantasies about stowing away aboard a cruise liner and sailing off to exotic spots. We’d get a job on board as a cruise director just like Julie McCoy. It was gonna be awesome. That brings us to the story from New York this week. A woman was flying out of LaGuardia airport  when her luggage created a huge hassle. The Transportation Security Administration practically shut the place down when something happened setting off the “un-chicken3known contents alarm.” Turns out her Chihuahua snuck into her suitcase and stowed away on the trip to LA. The woman had absolutely no idea the dog was there. So we’re marking that as a “No” on our checklist for the Great Panda Smuggling Heist.

2. This shit is real. Seriously. Did you know there are black chickens. They’re gorgeous. And look how skinny they look. Black feathers are very slimming. These gorgeous birds even lay black eggs. We’re not kidding. We thought it was an internet hoax, but no. It’s true. Look them up. They’re called Ayan Cemani and they’re from Indonesia. Everything is black. EVERYTHING. Even their meat. If your keeping a tom hankstally at home, add these chickens to the Quill Sisters Must Have score sheets. The thing is getting ridiculous at this point.

3. Thin Mints are like a box of chocolates. Tom Hanks and his kid were in San Francisco this week. They were heading to a type writer store (???? Do those things still exist?) when they encountered a gang of Girl Scouts selling cookies. Tom bought 4 boxes and then stayed around to help them sell more. He was willing to have his picture taken with any Twizzlerspassersby who also bought cookies. Tom Hanks is such a nice guy. Still, this story posed unanswered questions. Why kind of cookies does Tom like? Also, and more importantly, what the hell is he typing?

4. A real tragedy. Amylynn and Ava have had a long standing dispute about red licorice. Amylynn’s position is that Red Vines are the one true licorice and every other copycat version is so horrible as not to be borne. Ava thinks that’s hogwash and insists that Twizzlers is the only licorice worth putting in your mouth. If you’re undecided you could have done some field investigating this past week if you happenemorphied to live in Pennsylvania. A semi truck carrying a load of Twizzlers crashed on the highway around 11:30 PM Wednesday, littering the highway with thousands of boxes. Amylynn wouldn’t have even rolled over in bed for such an event. Now if it had been Swedish Fish…

5. Now we have to go back to Texas. Are you familiar with the SXSW festival? It’s a giant music festival held every year in Austin. This year a company called Mophie is partnering with the St. Bernard Rescue Organization to rescue people at the festival. Rescue you if you have a dying phone battery, that is. All you have to do is text a photo of your dying battery to them and a dog with a charger may show up to save the day. HOLY COW! We totally need that. That should be everywhere. Amylynn’s phone is ALWAYS dying and the Sisters LOVE St Bernards. This is the most glorious thing the Sisters could imagine.

Hey Quill Sisters…

How has your week gone so far?

Bill the Cat

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