A couple of weeks ago I sent a bad email at work – totally on accident, I assure you. It was an email I meant to send to a colleague but accidentally sent to a customer. In this email, I said something fairly unpleasant about that very customer. I freaked out the second AFTER I hit send. Too little too late, right?
I did the thing that pulls the email back if it’s not been read, but I had no way of knowing if it actually worked.
I trotted down the hall and spilled my guts to my manager. I told her everything. She laughed at my misery and tried to tell me it wasn’t so bad and things would be okay.
Then I called my colleague and admitted everything. If there were going to be any repercussions from an angry customer he would be the first to get the earful and I didn’t want him to be blindsided. He did his best to put me at ease, said he agreed with my assessment in the email, and told me to calm down.
I absolutely could not calm down.
Fast forward to this week. I stayed home sick on Tuesday (although I spent the whole day working on the couch instead of at my desk, so it didn’t really count). I got an email from HR.
“An email has come to my attention that I’d like to talk to you about.”
Oh, man! My heart sunk. I responded that I was home sick and she could call my cell phone. I also said, “I know what email you’re talking about and I’ve just been sick over it. I immediately told my supervisor about it.”
She waited a moment and replied, “What email are you talking about? I’m talking about the one with the picture.”
HOLY SHIT – I just confessed to HR about an incident that they didn’t even know about.
“Hahahahahaha,” I said and completely ignored her question. “I really hate having my picture taken.”
The Tech guys at work had sent a request to those of us who don’t have a picture attached to our email. They asked for us to send in one. I sent in a cute little caricature of myself instead.
“Don’t worry,” she told me. “You can opt out of the picture. What I’m really concerned about is the comment about the Witness Protection Program. Do you need to talk about that?”
When I sent in the little drawing I told the tech guy that I was in the Witness Protection Program and they won’t allow me to put pictures of myself on the internet.
If you’re in Witness Protection do they think you’re actually going to tell everyone at work?
The real problem here is that apparently, if I ever get dragged in by the cops, I’m going to confess every single sin I’ve ever committed since the 4th grade.