NEW RELEASES
THIS is why you pay attention in parking lots
Quite frequently, I am confronted with the fact that I just might not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier. I especially enjoy having this point driven home to me at the beginning of the summer here in the desert. No, I don’t go out without water, even I know not to do that.
Here’s what happens, sadly, every year. When the summer hits, everyone starts using their car windshield shades. Not just to try to keep the heat down in the car (it doesn’t work but try to tell a native desert person that . . .) but to keep the sun from causing the 
steering wheel to heat up to 9000 degrees. The sunshield actually does help with that, a little. Don’t get all crazy, it was 107 today – so by saying it helps, I mean it’s possible to drive the car if you keep oven mitts in there.
Anyway, every year it takes me about a week to stop backing out of parking spaces before I take the shield down. Then I freak out because I can’t see out of the windshield. It’s like a comedy routine. It’s like when I set the dish towels on fire and stand there with it burning – it takes me a minute to realize I need to zip the sunscreen out of the window toal see. Idiot.
The above results in immediate contact with Amy via text:
June 15th “You cannot drive your car w the sun screen on. Just like last summer.”
June 17th “Day 2. Still can’t drive w sun shield. The communist are winning.” ***Amylynn here: I snort coffee out of my nose every time I get one of these.
I guess I don’t need to ever wonder why Amy never let’s me drive anywhere, even when I rarely offer to – she usually shouts “Good Gods NO, I’ll drive. I want to get there today and not by using the right lane behind a bus the whole way.” I always promise to take the sunshield down but that just results in an eye roll. ***Amylynn here again – It’s for all our sake’s that I drive. Really. You’re welcome.
May 10
The Sisters are having a very different week from each other. Generally, it’s fairly the same, seeing as how we spend 9+ hours a day together. But not this week. No. One of the sisters is toiling away in 26 hours of training at Bank of No Forks while the other is at Disneyland. Disneyland. The one in Disneyland is hereby disinherited from the family fortune. However, that did not stop us from laughing at the
following –
- 1. Governor Chris Christie #1 – Bug Killer – this is not a political blog but there are some politicians that the sisters LOVE even though they are politicians (Hi, Hillary!). Governor Chris Christie of NJ is one of these people. Here’s one example of why – just this last week he had a bunch of kids in his governor’s office and killed a spider with his bare hand. Now we’ll admit it’s a large hand but he didn’t even hesitate to save the lives of those kids without any concern for himself. One of the sisters has Arachnophobia, she’s mentioned it before. I swear,
if she wasn’t already married she’d be on her way to NJ to propose.
2. NJ Kid Attempts Murder with A Stapler – this kid is part of the above story but deserves his own spot. After the Governor squashes the spider, one of the boys says “Let’s staple it.” That’s a NJ kid right there. The PETA people are insane over the whole incident but Amylynn thinks the spider got what it deserved even if it didn’t involve a
stapler.
3. Governor Chris Christie #2 – Dieting – Mr. Christie revealed that he had secret lap band surgery in February. We just love this guy: he diets like us, he kills spiders, he tells people to get off the streets when a super storm is coming by looking directly into the camera and saying “Yes, I’m talking to you.”, he loves Bruce . . . the list seems endless. If he ever becomes president, we’re moving to Washington to help him out. We think he’ll need fan girls.
4.Disneyland – the Sisters can’t remember if they’ve ever had Disney as a favorite thing before but it’s here because one of us is there. (One of us, not both. Which is wrong. Not that Ava is bitter or anything.) There isn’t anything not to love about Disney. We love, love, love every square inch of it. Except “It’s a Small World”. We are deeply suspicious of anyone who doesn’t like Disney or anyone who likes “It’s a Small World”. Something is really wrong there . . . We do
- debate which is better – CA Disney or FL Disney. I believe a trip to both is in order to solve this argument. In fact, we’d better get over to Paris and Japan so we can speak from experience.
5. Monte Cristo Sandwich – this delectable sandwich is made of turkey and cheese. It is dipped in egg batter and fried to a beautiful golden brown and served with powdered sugar and preserves. The Disney people make these at the restaurant housed inside the “Pirate’s of the Caribbean” ride – but only for lunch. TIP: you should make reservations before you get there or you won’t get in. Holy deliciousness – now we’re starving!