As you are all aware, the Sisters live in the desert. It’s hot here and sunny. Very sunny. Which causes us to put dark screens on all of our windows. You actual forget they’re there until you take them all down to paint your house. Then, the fact that the sun is a ball of fire is driven home to you in the most uncomfortable way. The Sisters don’t like the sun, we don’t like it to touch us, and therefore, we don’t like to be reminded that it exists.

I finally got to sleep in on Sunday morning. I was hoping to sleep until at least 9ish. That dream was interrupted by the most obnoxious occurrence ever – the sun rising and shining in my bathroom.

Me to Ed: “What the hell is that?!”

Ed: (Mumbling because he was sort of asleep.) “What the hell is what?!”

Me: “That light!”

Ed: “You mean the SUN?”

Me: “There is no way all that light is coming from the sun. Ra the sun god must be in our bathroom. You need to go in there and tell him to leave.”

Ed: (Deep sigh.) “You’re crazy. Ra is not in our bathroom. Go back to sleep for Ra’s sake, it’s barely 6 o’clock!”

At this point, Ed throws himself out of bed and shuts the bathroom door. A bit loudly, if you ask me.

Me: “Now was that so hard? I’ll bet you’ll think twice the next time you decide to remove the anti-Egyptian god barriers from the windows.”

Ed: “They’re called screens, Ava. Screens. Now go back to sleep before Cerberus arrives. I took down the anti-River Styx barrier, which normal people call a gate, from the side of the house to paint the wall.

Honestly, I don’t think a painted house is worth it, do you? But then again if it gets me a new dog…

Poor Jojo Kitty. On Friday night I realized that Mr. Kittywiggles wasn’t feeling well. It’s hard to tell with a cat – they’re so weird to begin with. But he was definitely exhibiting signs of distress and by the time My Honey got home from band practice, Jojo was growling and moaning.

Of course, I went on the internet and had him diagnosed immediately. Turns out I was wrong.

Doesn’t matter, I was planning on taking him to the vet anyway. I stayed up with him all night Friday. We were both miserable. Him because he was ill. Me because I couldn’t make him feel better. My poor fuzzy boy.

I called the kitty doctor three minutes after they opened the clinic and arrived eight minutes later, fuzzy son in tow.

They kept him over the weekend. I’ve had reports from the doctor that he took his treatment well, and they think he’ll be alright with no long-term damage.

But I miss him terribly. I have a feeling that the other cat in the house, Geddy, is happy to have some undisturbed sleep.

Hopefully I get him back tomorrow. At the very least, I’ll have to go to the hospital and kiss his belly.

I can’t even imagine how lonely he must be. All alone in that hospital. With no Momma to smother his belly with kisses.

Do you know what you’re going to be for Halloween yet? Us neither, but that hasn’t stopped the 10-year-old girl, Sassy, from asking us every ten minutes. We do enjoy going to the Halloween stores and trying stuff on and squealing at the scary stuff and generally making nuisances of ourselves. Sadly, the more we pay attention to this trend, that seems to be a hallmark of our visit to a retail establishment. We become nuisances. Perhaps we’re practicing for old age. Who knows. Everybody needs a hobby, that’s what we say. Another hobby is finding funny stuff. Here you go.

1. Weak pop stars. Justin Bieber is in China. Apparently he visited the Great Wall. We’d say he climbed the Great Wall, only he didn’t. He had his body guards carry him up there. Now, just like us, we’ll bet your initial reaction was to be appalled by the ridiculousness of that. Hold on, though. That just may be the most brilliant to way to visit any landmark. Find a big guy and climb on his shoulders and demand that he carry you up 739 flights of stairs to the top of the Eiffel Tower or Statue of Liberty. We’re going to try it. We’ll report back. Or you’ll see it on the news. Either way…

2. Good words. Our word of the week is COGNOSCENTI. It means being in the know on a certain subject. Like we’re sure there are people out there who are cognoscenti on Obama Care or the situation in Syria. We don’t know who they are, and we don’t necessarily want to speak with them because we’re certain they’re boring. What the Sisters are cognoscenti on is cake. We know where to find it, how much it costs, what flavor

to get. If you have cake questions, we’re your gals. We’re cognoscenti. Check with someone else on that other stuff.

3. JAR. If you’re not cognoscenti on the best jewelry, then we’ll introduce you to Joel Arthur Rosenthal. The man is a genius about gem stones and how to put them together to make the most gorgeous brooches, rings and earrings you’ve ever seen. Don’t touch it because you can’t afford it. We assure you. Still, who would have thought that asparagus or pomegranate could be so breathtakingly beautiful. JAR said the most brilliant thing ever and we think we may make it our new life philosophy: “It’s very practical to be considered a monster because people leave you alone. Brilliant.

4. Space. NBC has teamed up with Richard Branson and Virgin Galactic to create a reality show wherein the winner receives a trip to outer space. While we’re not even a little bit interested in winning this ourselves, we are interested in sending several people we know to space. As soon as we locate the proper website, we’re going to start filling out applications for people by proxy. Let us know when you hear from them, won’t you?

5.Abs. For every woman who’s seen a picture of one of the young male celebrities these days and wondered aloud, “When did they start making boys with those muscles?” we present to you a gratuitous photo of a young Paul Newman. Lovely.

Today was a good day. The first NHL game was tonight and, as I write this, my team is winning. The Big Bang Theory was hysterical as usual and Project Runway is on tonight and it’s the avant-garde challenge.

AND I played hookey from work. Don’t you ever have those mornings when you’re just like, “Yeah, it’s not happening today.”

Instead, I managed to write an entire chapter. NIIIIIICE.

I also had the opportunity to notice just how many very weird people we have in this town.

There was the girl in Starbucks this morning who sang so loud to her iPod that the barista had to ask her to quiet down.

There was the ancient old man who attached himself to me at The Church who carried around 75,000 keys on the biggest key ring you’ve ever seen in your entire life. He was like a Janitor Extraordinaire.

There was a man at a stop light with his finger so far up his nose I almost couldn’t see his elbow. Why can’t we look away from that? Honestly. I have no idea why that’s so disgustingly fascinating.

I can’t believe I got as much writing done as I did with all that people watching.

I have to go back to work tomorrow and that totally blows, but it’s Friday so at least there’s that.

We love Sophia Vergara. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Not only is she GORGEOUS but she’s delightfully funny. Absolutely unbeatable combination.

From the lovely artists at BirdBoxStudios.

Someone brought this to my attention and wanted to know my opinion. I couldn’t link the video straight here, so click on the picture and follow the jump. Come back to tell me what you think.

You won’t believe this but there are actual, real people in the world who believe that mermaids exist despite there being no evidence what-so-ever as proof. But this post isn’t about whether mermaids are real or not, it’s about the new names I’m giving the children at my house.

Sunday night, the entire family went upstairs to bed. Ed and I have a TV in our room but the children do not. We swore years ago that our children would never have a TV in their bedrooms. How the heck were we supposed to know that there would be computers and iPods and Gameboys and cell phones and on and on and on??? But, we are people of our word – there are no TVs in those rooms!!

Anyway, that’s not what the blog is about either.

The blog is about the mayor of a seaside town in Israel that is offering one million dollars to anyone who can provide absolute proof that mermaids exist. But the million dollars is not what this blog is about either. The mayor’s first name was Shmuel. SHMUEL. I’m telling the truth here. Had Ed and I known that Shmuel was available for use to name a child we would have not hesitated.

I shout across the hall to the boy who lives at our house – “Guess what? I found you a new name!” I can hear his eyes

roll from twenty feet away.

But he was wide awake and decided to play along. “What are you watching over there?”

I shout back “Mermaids – The New Evidence”.

He says “I’m going to sleep now because this can’t end well.”

I say “Not until you hear your new name — SHMUEL!”

I hear the girl laughing because she’s not asleep either.

“Go to sleep SHMUELLA!”

Now no one’s laughing and we still don’t have any evidence about the mermaids.

I did a super fun interview – in character again, this time as Olivia Goldsleigh and Lord Dalton. Check it out. I’m giving away a copy of Miss Goldsleigh’s Secret. Click the picture below to take the jump.