Sassy had been sick off and on for the past week or so, nothing really serious as far as I was concerned. I think I’ve mentioned this before that Sassy has Cry Wolf syndrome. She tells me every day before school that she’s sick. My policy is that a sick child must produce either a fever or some sort of fluid before they are allowed a sick day from school. In the real world, you have to soldier on, suck it up, and deal with it and my kids might as well learn that now.

Besides, if I have to keep using my sick days from Bank of No Forks for my kids to stay home when they have a sniffle, then I won’t have any days left to use when I need to play hookey.

Finally, Sassy was able to manage a fever and I let her stay home. The problem was, neither of her grandmothers were available to take care of her. I took her to work with me until her daddy could get off work.

She brought a book to read and I had my iPad to play games on and stuff, but still she wasnt kept occupied.

For the time she spent with me in my office, she:

• Helpfully informed me each and every time the phone on my desk rang. Like I wasn’t sitting less than a foot away from the thing.
• Gave by the minute updates for how late my clients were for their respective appointments.
• Interrogated me on why we had donuts in our kitchen. She wanted to know how often we had donuts (maybe once or twice a month), what bakery they came from (buyers choice), why there wasn’t any good ones (duh! they get eaten first) and could she have another one? (I think she ate two, possibly three)
• Informed me that the copier, which sits right outside my office, was very loud and she didn’t think that was right.
• She raised her eyebrows when Ava and I yelled to each other from our respective offices across the hall from each other.
• She thought my desk was a little messy – which it is not. My desk is very clean.
• She didn’t agree with the state of my pencils and helpfully sharpened all of them.

Mercifully, her father finally came and got her and eventually I got some work done that day.

Does anyone need an assistant for a day? I guarantee you she’ll be “sick” again soon and she can whip your office into shape in no time.

The Bandit doesn’t want to brush his teeth. I suspect that’s nothing new for most mother’s of six-year olds. Mine throws an extra hitch into the deal because he hates the taste of mint. Perhaps the word “hate” isn’t strong enough. Abhors.

Despises. Detests.

Ick!

That leaves fruit and bubble flavored.

He hates bubble flavor. Deplores.

So we’re left with fruit flavored toothpaste.

I’ve purchased every single kind of flavored toothpaste. He used Colgate Watermelon until I couldn’t take it anymore. The packaging was awful and I was tired of cleaning up the

Yummy

piles and strings of green slime all over the bathroom sink and medicine cabinet.

Next I found Tom’s All Natural Strawberry. I thought for sure this would be a winner. The boy’s favorite food of all time is strawberries. We find dead strawberry heads all over the house.

This was a no.

Yeah, nope. He doesn’t like it.

So then I found Aim Fruit Bubble. It was 99 cents at the grocery store so, for a dollar, I figured we’d give it a shot.

Huh-uh. Negatory.

So were back to begging, wheedling and threatening.

In fact, that’s my primary form of exercise – holding him down and brushing his teeth.