More Excitement Than I Was Hoping For.

The world as I know it has come to a screeching halt.  As you constant readers know, I have recently upgraded my phone and it has been a less than smooth transition.  My cell phone carrier has made this a nightmare.

Well, something horribly, terribly distressing happened tonight.

On Tuesday, Roscoe knocked out one of Sassy’s front teeth.  It’s alright.  Both of those teeth were loose, so it just came out a little before it was ready.  There was a great deal of blood and hysteria, though.

According to The Bandit, my husband offered to put a bullet in the dog’s head.  My Honey takes his job as Papa Bear very seriously.  Of course, the dog was totally freaked out for the rest of the night – not over My Honey’s over the top threat, but because of how upset Sassy was.  He’s very sensitive. 

Tonight, Christmas Eve, I got off of work at 2 (yea!!!) and went home and promptly feel asleep.  I dozed off and on for a couple of hours and at some point my husband woke me to say he was running to get beer.  No Christmas is the same without it apparently.  I told the kids to get in the bathtub so they’d smell decent for dinner at my Mom’s.   I continued to blissfully doze, while in the back of my head I heard the kids splashing around.

And then the screaming began.  The bad screaming – you moms out there know the one.  I sat straight up in bed and, instead of visions of sugar plums, I was witness to a naked, wet, screaming, bloody Sassy.  Her brother had knocked out the other front tooth.  It looked like a scene from a Christmas with Stephen King – standing there with the blood running down her front, her hair all stringy and knotted, she looked like Carrie.

We found the tooth.  She hadn’t even known it was out.  She does look adorable with that huge space in her mouth.  Her Aunt tried to teach her the words to All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.  If now isn’t the appropriate time for this song, then good grief, I don’t know when is.

ANYWAY, I put the screaming, bloody mess in the bathtub and leaned over the water and PLOP! there went my brand new cell phone.  So now Sassy and I are both crying, The Bandit is crying because everyone else is crying, and My Honey is like, “Jesus, I just left the house for a minute.”

Things move fast here at the Bright Compound.

I’m now on a suicide watch.  I don’t want to live without my phone.  It’s drying out and I’m paying a constant vigil.  But really, I don’t want to go on.  I’ll try to get a grip on myself.

So anyway, it’s going to be a very busy night for mystical people here tonight.  I hope we don’t have a traffic jam with both Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy showing up tonight.