October 4

Do you know what you’re going to be for Halloween yet? Us neither, but that hasn’t stopped the 10-year-old girl, Sassy, from asking us every ten minutes. We do enjoy going to the Halloween stores and trying stuff on and squealing at the scary stuff and generally making nuisances of ourselves. Sadly, the more we pay attention to this trend, that seems to be a hallmark of our visit to a retail establishment. We become nuisances. Perhaps we’re practicing for old age. Who knows. Everybody needs a hobby, that’s what we say. Another hobby is finding funny stuff. Here you go.

1. Weak pop stars. Justin Bieber is in China. Apparently he visited the Great Wall. We’d say he climbed the Great Wall, only he didn’t. He had his body guards carry him up there. Now, just like us, we’ll bet your initial reaction was to be appalled by the ridiculousness of that. Hold on, though. That just may be the most brilliant to way to visit any landmark. Find a big guy and climb on his shoulders and demand that he carry you up 739 flights of stairs to the top of the Eiffel Tower or Statue of Liberty. We’re going to try it. We’ll report back. Or you’ll see it on the news. Either way…

2. Good words. Our word of the week is COGNOSCENTI. It means being in the know on a certain subject. Like we’re sure there are people out there who are cognoscenti on Obama Care or the situation in Syria. We don’t know who they are, and we don’t necessarily want to speak with them because we’re certain they’re boring. What the Sisters are cognoscenti on is cake. We know where to find it, how much it costs, what flavor

to get. If you have cake questions, we’re your gals. We’re cognoscenti. Check with someone else on that other stuff.

3. JAR. If you’re not cognoscenti on the best jewelry, then we’ll introduce you to Joel Arthur Rosenthal. The man is a genius about gem stones and how to put them together to make the most gorgeous brooches, rings and earrings you’ve ever seen. Don’t touch it because you can’t afford it. We assure you. Still, who would have thought that asparagus or pomegranate could be so breathtakingly beautiful. JAR said the most brilliant thing ever and we think we may make it our new life philosophy: “It’s very practical to be considered a monster because people leave you alone. Brilliant.

4. Space. NBC has teamed up with Richard Branson and Virgin Galactic to create a reality show wherein the winner receives a trip to outer space. While we’re not even a little bit interested in winning this ourselves, we are interested in sending several people we know to space. As soon as we locate the proper website, we’re going to start filling out applications for people by proxy. Let us know when you hear from them, won’t you?

5.Abs. For every woman who’s seen a picture of one of the young male celebrities these days and wondered aloud, “When did they start making boys with those muscles?” we present to you a gratuitous photo of a young Paul Newman. Lovely.