October 18

We don’t know what’s going on here, but we’re having a hell of a time concentrating on anything. We’ve flit from one thing to another all day. It’s taken hours to write the Five Things and a ridiculous time trying to get our Bank of No Forks work done. We’ve wandered over to the jigsaw puzzle, touched all the pieces, and then wandered away again. We keep opening our writing projects but there has been no new words added there either. We’re fairly certain we haven’t finished a single conversation all day. Before you suggest that we’ve had too much caffeine we’ll tell you that we didn’t even finish that today. Hopefully we make it through the funny things…

1. People making stuff up. The Sisters drug themselves over to the neighborhood Chipolte for lunch this week. This sign greeted us at the counter. Go ahead and read it (click for a bigger pic). We’ll wait here and munch on some bacon while we wait. So now we ask you, who the hell is “bacon-averse”? What does that even mean? Amylynn accused the kid behind the counter of making that up. No one is “bacon-averse”. At first we thought we didn’t even want to know anyone who was averse to bacon, assuming that they’d be so philosophically far from our point of view that they wouldn’t be worth knowing. On second thought, wouldn’t that just mean more bacon for us? We’re off for BLTs for lunch.

2. Poulet – part deux. We read an article about how many more colors chickens can see than humans. We didn’t learn an actual number but it amounts to a crap-load. They can see totally different rainbows than we can since they can see infrared and scads of other colors. Now don’t you somehow feel cheated on an evolutionary scale? We do, still we’re not keen on laying eggs in exchange for more colors. And we don’t like exercise so we’re not going to start crossing a bunch of roads for no damn reason.

3. Naps. A new study about sleep suggests that your brain uses its down time to clean up in there. The scientists described it as a cleaning spree, saying that it “flushes out gunk that builds up while we’re awake.” We resent that we’re always working. Jeez now we can’t even enjoy a nap knowing that our brains are in there Lysoling everything down. It’s ridiculous. The other thing that disturbed us about the article was that it stated, “despite decades of research, scientists can’t agree on the basic purpose of sleep.” Seriously? If we don’t get sleep some of us are excessively cranky. Have they never met a three-year-old? The only thing we learned from this was

that we need to start applying for more scientific study grants. Just as soon as we take this na….zzzzzzzzz.

4. Pancake and Sugar Tree. Sounds yummy, right? Totally not. If you put these in your mouth you’re going to be very sorry when you come away with a bunch of pet hair in your pie hole. Pancake is a kitty who just won her mother $10,000 from the Friskies Awards people who award prize money for kitty videos on the internet. Sugar Tree is her Doberman best friend and they both live right near us. We found the video and were not especially impressed, but then we may be jaded because Jojo Kitty is the best kitty EVER. You can go decide for yourself (follow the jump above). Also, we learned that Pancake’s Mom also owns camels, emus, sheep and ostriches. Why the hell do all these people get all these animals and

we can’t have anything? So un-freaking-fair.

5. Reasons to celebrate. Today is National No Beard Day. Look if you need a reason to drink – or shave – then here you go. We’d like it noted that we don’t have beards. Never have. Not really looking into acquiring one. Nobody said anything about leg hair, which we have because regardless of what it says on our dashboard thermometer, the calendar says it’s winter. Surprisingly, we don’t have a very strong opinion about beards. Crazy, huh? We have strong opinions about EVERYTHING. Beards are alright by us so long as you don’t have owls living in there. Especially when they’re worn by Robert Downey, Jr.