December 13

It’s Friday the 13th. We’re not afraid. We don’t believe in that superstitious nonsense. We personally LOVE black cats, and we don’t want anything to do with ladders. Still there are legions of people running around all freaked out today. We just shrug. What are we going to do about it anyway? Then the more zen we try to be, that’s when the freakouts start to creep in. Are we being naive? Should we be worried? Oh dear God, maybe everyone knows something we don’t know. Now we’re all upset. Basket cases, even. This whole thing has turned on a dime and now we’re afraid to move. Great. Neuroses are no fun. Well, there was this stuff to amuse us.

1. -135.8 degrees. Did you see this? Antarctica recorded the lowest temperature on Earth at -135.8 degrees since record keeping began. We’re sure during the last ice age there were colder temperatures but we weren’t alive to hear about it so it’s almost like it never happened. We’d like to go on record as stating unequivocably that -135.8 is way too cold and we disapprove. Someone needs to go down there and get the penguins some sweaters and booties. Someone besides us needs to do this. We’re

NOT fancy

willing to do a fundraiser, but we’re not going anywhere near that place if it insists on being that cold. Ridiculous.

2. Wine? Yes. There was a wine heist. How fabulous is that sentence? Like 17-year-old boys, we’re drawn to anything with the word heist in it. Heists are fun. This particular heist involved 2,500 bottles of wine valuing in the neighborhood of $648,000. WHAT? Seriously. A Seattle wine shop was heisted of all their fancy wine. That’s the way the newspaper described it. “Fancy wine.” Obviously it was fancy wine. What the hell wine isn’t fancy for $648,000? How many bottles of Reunite would you need to total that much money? According to Target the answer is 33,174 bottles. We would be considerably drunk if we drank that much wine. So would you. What vehicle would you have to use? A school bus? Jeez, this heist just got really complicated. 

3. Ritz Carlton Hotels. Ava had to go out-of-town for work and she made BofNF pay to put her in the Ritz Carlton. She fell madly in love with the place. They have “afternoon tea with delectable sweets.” Surely you know the appeal of such a thing. In addition there were Christmas trees everywhere and the staff was lovely. When we finally get our apartment away from everything, that’s where we’re doing it. Just like living at the Plaza only it’s the Ritz. That’s a lovely address if you ask us.

From Vanity Fair

4. Robert Evans. He’s the film producer who did Rosemary’s Baby and The Godfather. He’s also the guy who did the Proust Questionnaire in the December issue of Vanity Fair. He’s been married 7 times. Yikes! Still, when asked what quality he most liked in a woman he stated, “Willingness.” We like a person who refuses to give up. Also when asked what his motto is he said, “No price too high does an original bear.” Huh? We have no idea what he’s talking about, but we do like bears.

5. Street Fair. This weekend is the winter Street Fair. That means there will be interesting people wandering about downtown and awesome cart food including Indian fry bread and roasted corn. There will also be magnificently overpriced art to gawk at. Even though they’re not supposed to be there, there’s always cute doggies in the crowd because people can’t follow the rules. We love the street fair. We REALLY love fry bread. With honey. Mmmmmmmm.