Why we hate Betty White

What’s cuter than Betty White clinging to baby lion cubs?

Us clinging to baby lion cubs, that’s what.

God damn it! Who the hell do we have to sleep with, threaten, blow or bribe to get to cling to a lion cub? Give us a name and it’s a done deal. Amylynn’s family has been members of this zoo since for-freaking-ever. We support the hell out of the zoo.

WE NEED TO TOUCH A LION CUB.

We write a very influential blog.

We love, LOVE, LOOOOOOOOOOVE baby lion cubs.

You know what they say about prevention being half the cure? It would probably prevent a scene if we’re allowed to cling to a lion cub for just a minute.

We swear on white cake, a stack of Harper Lee books, and Cary Grant’s grave that we’ll behave ourselves.

We’ll write it down and get it notarized.

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE.