Some things…

Here are some things I’d like to note–some random thoughts. I have these a lot.

The daughter and sister of plumbers should not have this many plumbing problems in her house. Nothing can finish off a day like turning on the disposal in the kitchen and have water pour out from the cabinets.

My eleven-year-old daughter no longer believes in the Tooth Fairy. That has not stopped her from blackmailing us when she lost a tooth this week. Right this minute she’s in the family room wiggling all the rest of the baby teeth to loosen them up. Apparently. this is her plan to make

The bean of death

money for our summer vacation.

I really love jelly beans, however, I DO NOT like the black licorice ones. I do, however, like the grape ones. I do not like that the grape ones and the licorice ones are so similar in color. You often can’t tell them apart no matter if you put your bifocals on and stare at them under a microscope and high-powered spot lights. This is not a time you want to be cavalier. If you say, “Eh, fuck it” and put an unidentified black licorice jelly bean in your mouth, you can ruin your whole day. Hey, Jelly Belly people – can you do something about this? I suggest you remove all the black ones. NO ONE LIKES THOSE. Thank you.

I think nine-year-old boys are difficult. When I was filling out the admission forms for summer camp today, there was a question on whether my child was easily managed. I suggested they keep and old priest and a young priest on call in case they need to do an exorcism. I try to be helpful.

I miss Charles Grodin. He’s not dead, thank Zeus, but I wish he was in more stuff.

Alright, that’s enough of my non sequitors for tonight.